


White Lips

by blackat_greneys



Series: White Lips [1]
Category: One Piece
Genre: Addiction drug/alcohol, Blood, Child Abuse reference, Domestic abuse reference, Explicit Language, Gangs, Implied Sexual Content, Intoxication, Kidnapping reference, Knife/swordplay, M/M, Overdose, Prostitution, Starvation, non-con reference, underage reference, violence/fighting/murder reference
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-23
Updated: 2015-04-23
Packaged: 2018-03-25 09:45:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 35,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3805855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackat_greneys/pseuds/blackat_greneys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zoro's eyes watch the snow crunch under his boots before being brought up to see a shimmer of color caught in the world of grey and white around him. Hair. Golden hair highlighted by the street light above. White lips on a pale face, breathing in the snowflakes and smoke from the cigarette between them. Eyes of blue, of turquoise, cobalt, azure, sapphire, and cerulean, all mingle within his iris, all making them an impossible shade to identify. Who could have predicted that this man before him will  cause so much grief for Zoro in the months to come.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Pale Face

**Author's Note:**

> This story has a sound track, kinda. This whole thing was inspired by Ed Sheeran's song 'A Team." If you haven't heard it go take a listen. And while you're at it listen to the rest of the CD it's on. The whole album is great and i drew inspiration from all the songs on it!

* * *

 

Hi everyone! This is my 2015 OPBigBang! My first! I've had this idea in my head for a couple years already but never got around to writing it. So, when the BigBang came around I took the chance!

There are a lot of warnings for this, I know. Most is implied or past only, except for the drug and alcohol addiction.

A big thanks to my friend Pip for taking the time to beta this! (If there are mistake blame her.... but since she isn't on here i guess that might be hard. Just tell me if i messed up to bad somewhere than.)

Another huge thanks to all my friends that cheered me on! I had three months where I was too busy too sit down and write, so a lot of this was unfortunately written in a time crunch.

The biggest thanks of them all goes to [Gagakuma](http://gagakuma.tumblr.com/) for the awesome [artwork](http://gagakuma.tumblr.com/image/117178160808) she did!!!

ENJOY!

 

* * *

 

 

 

_**December 1** _

Zoro’s feet stomp through the soft white snow before him, blanketing his mind as it falls from the sky. He pulls his beanie further down on his head to warm his frozen ears. The darkness of the evening covers the ground, pulling the city into shadows from the street lights and still lit up apartments. Zoro has always hated this weather, this season.

It brings him the reminder that he has lost people, a friend, a family member. That he has a stupid party to go to that he is being forced into. Not the best reason to hate the weather, but it’s with parties that make him remember the others, the ones who can’t be here with him.

Zoro pulls his bag up higher on his shoulder, feeling the katana’s inside shift with the movement. Stupid Yosaku had to leave early for something or another, leaving Zoro to clean up his mess, only getting out of the dojo two hours after he had already clocked out for the day. It’s a good thing the jerks family to him or else Zoro isn’t too sure Yosaku will last another day at work with all the times he skips out. Koshiro is too soft on him and Johnny, always had been ever since they came to live with them.

Zoro wraps his arms around his torso pulling the scarf tighter around his neck keeping the warmth in, hoping that he will get home sooner rather than later, like he usually does.

His eyes watch the snow crunch under his boots before being brought up to find a shimmer of color in the world of grey and white around him. Hair. Golden hair highlighted by the street light above. White lips on a pale face, breathing in the snowflakes, and smoke from the cigarette between them. The guys outfit makes him look like he just stepped out of a time machine from the 40’s; white dress shirt, grey slacks, a tie, and a really nice looking black pea coat. There is no way that this guy would talk to Zoro, let alone even look at him.

Zoro’s pace through the snow falters when the mans head comes up and his eyes land on Zoro’s own. Blue. Turquoise, cobalt, azure, sapphire, and cerulean, all mingling within his iris, all making it an impossible shade to identify.

No turning back now. No avoiding eye contact now that it has been established. Zoro picks up his pace again, one foot in front of the other till he is only feet away from the bus stop the blond waits at. One more foot forward in the snow and the bus pulls up, forcing their eyes to break and the blond to disappear into the bus. Zoro watches the back of his head as he steps in, and then the eyes are back for a second before the blond’s fingers come up into a small wave while tossing out his cigarette. Zoro stands there as the bus pulls away not taking his eyes off it till it turns down a far road on the right. His mind makes a last ditch hope that he might meet the blond again.

 

** _December 4_ **

The noise from Sanji cooking isn’t able to drown out the ruckus going on in his living room. It technically was his idea to have friends over for a early Christmas get together, but it certainly was not his idea for his friends to bring friends. Not much he can do about it now, but listen to their conversations while checking on the turkey again.

He can hear Nami and her girlfriend, Vivi, discussing the complexities of being with a man rather than a woman with Robin and Kaya. A discussion Sanji feels he should be included in, but is unable since he is forced to kick, literally, Luffy out of the kitchen and away from the food once again. Usopp and his friend Chopper laugh as Luffy lands at their feet, trying to hide the large amount of orderves they have stuffed in their mouths during Luffy’s failed heist.

Sanji can’t see where Bon is in the apartment, but he can definitely hear him dancing to the music that Franky and Brook are playing, for the enjoyment of everyone but Sanji. Who now has to check the turkey again while stirring the gravy on the stove and making sure the water for the corn cobs hasn't boiled over.

Sanji loses his mind in the practiced rhythms of chopping, checking, salting, cooking. It pours itself over into thinking about the man he saw a couple nights ago at the bus stop. His lungs were burning as the sour taste of the cigarette ran through them. It was the end of the day, with the lights out and a long night ahead of him Sanji was thinking about the future. That his rent was going to be due in the next four days, the food shopping needed for his party, and pulling out a little cash for his extra needs. As he placed a cigarette between his lips he felt the eyes of a stranger on him. He thought it might have been some jerk out to get some or begging for a fight. He wasn’t exactly in the best mood with the itch crawling under his skin and embedded in his nails and hair. He turned to the person, ready to cuss them out for the stare that really wasn’t needed or wanted, but the words never came out of his mouth. Instead it fell open, almost losing the cigarette between them. It was a man. From the distance between them there wasn’t much to say about him except ‘holy shit the gods have looked down kindly upon me tonight.’ The man stood at about his height, broad shoulders, and a chiseled jaw that could give Sanji’s hip bones a run for their money. The man’s beanie covered his hair, but from what little Sanji could see of it poking out it looked to be, green. An odd hair color choice, but it seemed to suit the man’s tan skin and dark grey eyes. Sanji watched as the man stepped forward heading towards him and the bus stop. But before he could get within three feet Sanji heard his bus pull up beside him. He had to tear his eyes away from the strange man, but as he got on the bus Sanji turned back to flick his cigarette out and gave the guy a small wave as the door shut before him. Sanji really hopes that he might get to see the guy again some day.

“Sanji!” Luffy barrels into the kitchen knocking Sanji side ways away from the stove before he shoves the smaller gangly male away again.

Sanji snorts at the boy beside him, whose drooling over the smell coming out of the oven, before asking,“What do you want, shit head?”

The black haired youth pulls his gaze away from the bubbling gravy to look up a Sanji. “The doorbell went off.”

“Why the fuck didn’t you or someone else get it, stupid?” Sanji remarks while turning off the burner under the gravy and then shoving Luffy out of the kitchen.

Nami smiles up at them from her seat at the bar “Because it’s your house, Sanji.” She sips her drink before turning back to Vivi beside her.

Sanji smiles at them before kindly asking if they will keep the black hole out of the kitchen while he gets the door. The ladies don’t reply, but he knows they heard and will try their best. It’s almost impossible for anyone besides Sanji to keep the ever starving Luffy out of a kitchen, and even he fails at it from time to time.

As he passes through the living room to get to the door he hears snippets of the girls conversation that seems to have deviated into something morbid that Robin has read recently. Something about an ancient tribe in South America that ritually cut off young boys testicles and penis' to sacrifice to their fertility god so the women in the village can keep having children.

So maybe the topic hasn't changed as much as Sanji originally thought. A shiver runs down his spine at the thought of being one of those young boys. He really likes his dick.

Bon knocks into him halfway to the door, pushing Sanji into the back of the couch where he interrupts whatever new tall tail Usopp is spewing to his friend. The glare Sanji sends Bon's way, since he departed without an apology, isn't as effective as he wants it to be. The ballerina just keeps on twirling in time to the music that Franky and Brook are playing. Music that in Sanji's opinion sounds more like sea shanties than whatever Bon thinks ballet goes to.

Finally at the door, Sanji runs his hand down his chest and stomach before reaching out to twist and pull on the handle. He's greeted with his good friend Ace's hand poised to knock again on the other side. A smile splits Sanji's face as he takes Ace's hand and pulls him into a half embrace.

"I was wondering when you were going to get here." It's said into Ace's hair as he looks behind the man and sees Ace's boyfriend, Marco, standing there with another beside him. Sanji doesn't really look at the new comer before pulling back from Ace and remarking, "That's why you’re late. You reek of pot." Ace's grin doubles as steps through the door pulling a joint out of his pocket and handing it to Sanji, who carefully places it in his shirt pocket to smoke later in the evening. Marco follows after nodding to Sanji before removing his jacket and placing it, and Ace's, on the over flowing coat hooks beside the door.

"He insisted he be stoned for this so he could eat everything." Marco informs Sanji while turning into the living room and making his way over to Luffy who's listening with rapt attention to whatever story Usopp is muttering about now. From his jesters it looks to be something about a giant again. Sanji doesn't know why Marco chose them to go over too, but he doesn't think on it.

Sanji feels the sigh escape his lips before Ace catches his attention again by gesturing to the man still standing in the door. "Sanji this is my friend and coworker, Zoro. Zoro, this is Sanji."

The smile that spreads across Ace's face usually doesn't mean anything good. It's the 'I knew something but wasn't going to tell you about it smile.' The only comforting thought Sanji has about the grin is that it isn't directed at him but the man still standing in front of Sanji's open door. He finally turns to bring the man fully inside and stops with his mouth half open.

It's him. The grey eyed, green haired man Sanji was just thinking about. He looks even better up close and in the light than he did under the street lamps with falling snow surrounding him.

The man... No, Zoro, is wearing the same beanie and scarf combo as he was that night. Even the same leather jacket. In this light, even with everything clashing, he looks great. Better than Sanji's imagination was able to conjure up. Zoro has strong cheekbones and a tight jaw line that Sanji wants to run his fingers over. His eyes, slate now in the light instead of pitch, shine with recognition. The man’s mouth is partly open to the air and eyes a little more wide than they should be.

Zoro seems to gain his composure before Sanji, flicking his eyes to Ace in a way that shows they are talking about something later, before coming back to Sanji's. "Nice to meet you." His voice, deep and husky rolls over Sanji bringing goose bumps across his neck and arms. He doesn't even feel the cold still coming through the open door.

Sanji sticks out his hand while adding a mumbled, "Nice to meet you too." When Zoro's hand lands in his he feels calluses across his warm palm, sending Sanji's imagination into overdrive about what this man does for a living and what those hands might feel like on certain parts of his body.

Sanji mentally shakes his head before pulling Zoro forward a bit so he can shut the door to the apartment. Enough cold air has come in. "Welcome to my place." Sanji says, while putting himself into host mode. "Just place your jacket there on the rack and make yourself comfortable. I don't know if you know every one, but will meet them all in due time." Sanji turns back to the room and walks back to the kitchen, feeling Zoro's eyes wandering over his back and settling on his ass. A smirk pulls across Sanji's face as he steps back into his kitchen, ignoring the introductions that people are giving to the newcomers.

 

* * *

 

Zoro can't believe it. It's the guy. The gorgeous blue eyed blond that he had just been talking about with Ace and Marco on the ride here. No wonder Ace was smug the whole time he talked about him. Zoro described Sanji perfectly and Ace knew. The bastard. He could have warned him who was about to open the door. As soon as he saw the blond he froze. Even after Ace introduced them and Sanji finally took notice of him.

Zoro couldn't help but glare at Ace, mentally informing him that they are gonna have a talk and possibly a fight over this in the next couple of days. Fuck Ace and his need to know everything and be in the freaking center of shit.

Zoro talks first getting out a polite introduction without stumbling over himself. He has to give himself credit for it too, especially after he hears the smooth tone of Sanji’s voice. Zoro doesn't quit hear whatever Sanji says next, he’s too engrossed with watching the blond’s lips form around his words, and when the man walks away all he can keep his eyes on is Sanji’s ass. And what a tight one it is. The things Zoro could do to it or things he could bounce on it. He will have to try and see if he really can bounce a quarter off Sanji’s ass.

The sound of a throat being cleared brings Zoro out of his day dream. "Youve got it bad," Ace whistles under his breath while taking Zoro’s coat, scarf, and hat to hang by the door. "You’re in luck though." He turns back around to give Zoro his serious face. "With the way he looked at you he is also hungry for you dick too." The grin splitting Ace’s face when he finishes shows all his teeth while his eyes become slits.

Zoro huffs at him before looking out into the room to see who all might be here. He is genuinely surprised at the number of people he knows. He recognizes Robin, sitting at the bar with Kaya and a red head and blue haired woman that he doesn't know, from the museum. She had Zoro go in for his expertise on Japanese weaponry and how to use them. Robin’s husband, Franky, is also here, playing guitar with some older black man on the violin. At least the crazy engineer is having fun.

He spies Usopp, because Kaya would never go anywhere without her fiance, with Chopper and Luffy on the couch talking about who knows what. From the way Marco is making a disgusted face it could be anything from Luffy’s love of meat, to Choppers latest surgery, to even Usopp’s newest story. The polls are out on that one.

Ace nudges Zoro in the shoulder when his eyes land on Sanji in the kitchen. "Go talk to him." Ace gives him a light push towards the middle of the room. "You guys will get along great!"

That doesn't give Zoro pause at all. It most likely means they will either get along too well or not at all. God Zoro hope for the too well one. He can't have another crappy relationship like Killer again.

The memories bring a shiver through his body before Zoro pulls himself together and walks across the living room to the kitchen entrance. It’s there he pauses, saying hello to Robin, because he fears if he doesn't something bad might happen to his jewels later in the evening. She then introduces him to the red head, Nami, and her girlfriend, Vivi. He gives his usual gruff reply, a curt nod and a small hello.

Apparently that isn't quite enough for Sanji who actually stops in his cooking to turn to them and remark, "That isn’t how you talk to a lady asshole. You have to show them you love them with a delicate kiss on the back of the hand." Ok... so maybe he isn't into men like Ace thinks. Going by the faces of the women this is not the first time they have heard this crap. They ignore Sanji’s remark each giving Zoro their hello.

"How are you doing Kenshi-san?" Robin asks while picking up her wine glass and taking a sip. The smile she throws in Zoro’s direction tells him that she knows his interest in the blond standing behind her. It is not surprising in the least that Robin might know, not with the way she can read the atmosphere around a person.

"That better not be your actual name." The red head, Nami, comments.

Zoro can tell that this woman is not one to mess with. The way she holds herself in the bar stool is so reminiscent of Robin, but her expression tells Zoro that there is no way Nami will let him get away with half the shit Robin does. Nami looks like she will most likely yell at you rather than silently judge and let you make the mistake. Zoro makes a mental note to stay away from her for as long as he can. Of course if his hope of screwing and/or dating Sanji happens, that may be an impossible feat in the future. Only time will tell.

Zoro snorts before looking into Nami’s eyes and saying, "My names Zoro, but I am a swordsman."

Sanji makes a noise from over the bar. Something that sounds like a covered laugh. "A swordsman? Really? Aren't you too bulky for that, moss head."

The hairs on Zoro’s arms bristle at the nickname Sanji calls him. "What would you know about it, curly brow?" Sanji just seems to be picking for a fight. There is no way Zoro isn't going to oblige the man. One nasty nickname can be thrown back with another, even if the nickname is said with a hint of something else behind it. Teasing, flirting maybe. Zoro has always been really bad at both. He used to be that boy on the playground that would make fun of the person they liked, just so they could get their attention. Heck Zoro even remembered doing that to Johnny at one point. The memory makes him cringe. If only his younger self knew how crazy the guy was going to get when he hit his teens.

A smirk curls at one corner of Sanji’s lips. “Maybe more than you, grass head. I’ve won multiple competitions for savate and capoeira.” The blond is preening his feathers. Well at least that’s what it looks like to Zoro. He can just see Sanji’s peacock tail feathers fanning out behind him to show off for the girls at the bar. The girls who lost interest the minute Sanji spoke and moved back to their own conversation. So maybe the preening isn't for them. If not for them than for Zoro, since he is the only one around in the listening vicinity.

Zoro watches him as he finishes up getting the dinner ready and pulling out plates, he didn't even wait for Zoro to reply. Watching Sanji move fluidly through his kitchen Zoro decides to make a gamble. He has never been one for flirting and is usually really bad at it, but it never hurts to try. “That where you get your grace from, savate? I might have taken you more for the ballet kind of guy, like the one with Franky over there.” Zoro jerks his head in the direction of the men playing music. The one dancing is wearing one of the most outrageous pink swan outfits Zoro has ever seen, but he can't fault the guys fashion when Zoro doesn't have much himself.

The blond’s movements falter when Zoro’s done. He knows he didn't do it right. Can feel the way one of the girls, Kaya maybe, is glancing at him with a hint of embarrassment. Shit. Zoro never should have opened his mouth. That was such a dumb idea.

Sanji turns his gaze towards him, looking him over. The cerulean eyes roving from Zoro’s own down to his scuffed boots. His lips quirk up into a small smile before replying, “I have a feeling you just flirted with me, grass brain. You did it badly, but-” he shrugs turning back to his preparation for dinner leaving his sentence hanging.

“But,” prompts Zoro. He can hear Sanji’s smirk at the end of that sentence.

“But, I kinda liked it.” Sanji leaves it at that, without even turning before stepping out the kitchen door to the balcony where he has his table set up and awaiting the food to be put down on.


	2. Days End

**_December 6_ **

The lights in the cafe are dimmed for the afternoon, leaving the sun streaming in through the windows as the only light source. Sanji watches the dust dance in the streams as he idly plays with the spoon that accompanied his french vanilla latte.

The moss head is late. They agreed to meet at the cafe at two in the afternoon for a light snack and a pick-me-up coffee, but the marimo seems to have forgotten. It’s closing in on half past two and Zoro still hasn't showed. Picking his coffee cup up Sanji moves himself to one of the tables outside, making sure to inform the worker behind the counter that he isn't leaving yet, just merely changing locations, since there is no smoking within the building.

As soon as Sanji pulls his pack out of his pocket, along with his lighter, he sees Zoro round the corner head rotating on his neck looking for the cafe. Sanji takes one of the cigarettes out of the pack and places it between his lips while watching Zoro look down onto a small piece of paper clasped in his hand. Sanji can see the moss heads eyebrows furrow even with the distance between them.

As Sanji lights up his phone goes off. No one ever calls him except for Zeff, and that’s only if Sanji happens to be late for work. Besides that the calls all tend to be emergencies. Even him and Zoro have only been texting for the past couple days, and nothing really telling. All just little things about something that happened at work or what they were doing for the evening.

Sanji had told Zoro flat out at the party that he doesn’t give away personal info to people unless they are in front of him and they have earned Sanji’s trust in one way or another. Zoro didn’t complain about it, infact he seemed to admire that, agreeing with Sanji that nothing really personal will come out of their mouths till the feel ready. Heck, Sanji knows that some stuff might never come out of his mouth. Who wants to learn that their new potential boyfriend has…. well, Sanji doesn’t wanna think about it right now.

Sanji ends his thought patterns when he tugs his phone out of his pocket and is met with Zoro’s name and number staring back at him. Is this idiot serious?

After pressing the call button Sanji immediately says, “Turn to your left, muscle brain.” Sanji watches as Zoro’s head shoots up from looking down at his paper and then… turns right. “Your other left, idiot.” No way, there is no way Sanji is crushing on this duffus. God this is going to be an adventure if it turns out they can stand each other.

Zoro turns around and catches Sanji's eye, glaring at him while he ends the call and stomps over to the table while making the weirdest, yet adorable, embarrassed scowls.

When Zoro steps up to the table he pulls out his chair with a bit too much force and sits down, most likely harder than intended because he almost topples the chair back.

A half aborted laugh comes out of Sanji’s throat making Zoro blush while his scowl deepened. “You get lost, grass head?” A small teasing smile works it way across Sanji's face as he pulls another drag from his cigarette into his lungs, holding it till after Zoro answers in a grunt. Sanji slowly blows out the cloud while his smile grows. “I take it that this getting lost thing happens a lot.”

The teasing tone looks to be lost on Zoro for his blush just gets darker when he answers, “The roads move around on me.”

Laughter erupts out of Sanji at that. He was only teasing, he didn't actually think it was true. Holy shit. This shithead gets lost on a regular basis. That is kind of cute, in a weird he-will-never-be-on-time-for-a-date way.

“Seems like you are full of surprises.” Sanji manages to get out after he calms down from his laughter. “Any other odd things about you I should know now?” The light tone of this sentence isn't lost on Zoro this time. He catches it and shoots Sanji a small teasing smile of his own before it gets wiped again into his passive face. A face that Sanji is beginning to loathe, even though this is only their second meeting, because Zoro has such an attractive smile. He has little dimples in the corners of his lips that could be so much more prominent if his smile got as large as it could get. Its a goal Sanji is setting for himself, the get-Zoro-to-give-me-a-super-big-smile campaign. Maybe he should try and get the others to participate. Luffy is sure to get it out of- or maybe Luffy already has. If that;s the case than Sanji is doing this on his own. He needs to be the only one who gets that smile out, and has that smile directed towards.

“I’m not the best speller.” Zoro’s words bring Sanji back to the moment.

Not the best speller? Oh ya, odd things. “That isn't so bad. I’m sure you aren't as bad as Luffy.” Just thinking of that guys texts makes Sanji cringe. He has always been a stickler for grammar, but with Luffy, no matter how many times Sanji tries to get Luffy to correct his ways it never happens. “As long as you got the grammar right, I'm fine with however you spell something.”

Another drag on the cigarette while Sanji watches Zoro across from him. His shoulders shift under the leather jacket as Zoro leans forward over the table. The veins and calluses visible on Zoro's hands, workers… no warriors hands. Zoro did mention that he is a swordsman.

“You going to get anything to eat and drink, Kenshi-san?” Robin's nickname for the moss head comes tumbling out of his mouth.

Zoro’s eyebrows shoot up into the beanie that seems to be perpetually stuck onto his head. “Do you know Japanese?”

Another drag before an answer. Sanji always did  have a flare for the dramatics. “I’m nowhere near fluent, but I do know enough to find the bathroom and tell people they are shitheads.”

The rough laugh that escapes Zoro’s chest brings a shiver to Sanji’s spine. _This man is going to be the death of me, I can feel it in the soles of my feet._ “I am fluent in French however.”

“Oh. The only French I know is from that one song.”

“What song?”

Green eyebrows furrow down as Zoro thinks on it. “The one with Pink, Lil Kim, the genie bottle girl, and that other one I can never remember.”

Sanji feels his eyes grow larger the longer Zoro keeps talking. ‘Lady Marmalade’? Holy shit sticks! He knows the french part from that song! Well then, they might end up in bed together on the first date after all. Sanji wasn't planning on it, but well when an attractive man says that he want you to join him in bed in your native language. You can't really blame a guy can you.

“You gonna say it, moss head?” He hopes, Sanji really hopes that he will. He desperately wants to hear those french syllables coming out of this mans mouth.

One corner of Zoros lips quirks up as he snorts and slightly shakes his head. “Sorry, curly brow, but I do know what it means.” He leans back in his chair, the sound of jeans moving across the metal tells Sanji that Zoro’s spreading his legs. “Another time.” The smirk grows on Zoro's face catching Sanji's eye. _This guy is going to kill me._

“Go get yourself a coffee, grass stain.” Sanji flicks his hand towards the cafe’s door before stubbing out his cig and standing. “I want to get another. Was a long day at work.”

Zoro stand pushing both his and Sanji's chair in as he makes his way around the table. “Ya? Wheres that?” He asks while holding the door for Sanji to step through first.

A light scof makes it out of Sanji’s throat, “Such a gentleman.”

Zoro answers while shoving his way in front of Sanji in line, “Not really.” That flirty smirk from before is back and in full swing. This green headed, marimo, moss man is flirting through being a douche. Shit. Sanji is so done for and its only been one date and light texting. The only way that this man will take hold of Sanji permanently is if he can also handle his own on a workout mat. Going by the callouses and build that is hidden under that jacket, Sanji thinks he just might.

“Good.” Sanji shoves Zoro up to the register so he can make his order for a green tea. “I would hate having a gentleman for a boyfriend,” he adds under his breath as Zoro pays and steps out of the way so Sanji can get a second french vanilla latte.

As soon as he's finished paying he leads Zoro to a table inside this time. Now with the cig craving gone he can enjoy the warmth of the coffee house and not freeze his ass off trying to fill an addiction that can never get full.

Sanji chooses a table near the front of the store by the window and chooses the seat with its back to the wall. Watching others has always been a hobby that Sanji will never get tired of. Slipping his coat off and placing it on the back of the chair he takes his seat, watching as Zoro does the same with his own. Hes wearing a loose black long sleeve under it that still clings to the muscles in his arms and chest.

Zoro looks up after he has seated himself and removes his scarf to his lap. “So, where do you work? You never answered earlier.”

“Well, I-” Sanji’s cut off as one of the barista's bring their drinks to their table. “Thank you, sweet one.” Sanji smiles at her as she’s leaving, blushing at the statement.

Turning back to Zoro he sees a frown marring the marimo’s features, and he returns it as he takes a sip of his drink.

Zoro’s eyebrows scrunch more as he pulls his mug towards him cradling it between his hands like they need to be warmed. “You always treat women like that?” He looks down at his coffee before lifting his eyes back up while taking a sip.

Sanji can't help but chuckle to himself at that second question. Of course he always treats the ladies like that. That is how all women should be treated and he will never expect anything else. It’s his own code that he will never break, he will never be his biological father. He decides to deflect the second question as best he can. It’s most likely going to lead to a conversation Sanji isn't ready to have with Zoro. “Which question do you want me to answer first?”

“Both.” The look Zoro shoots Sanji tells him that Zoro’s on to him. It’s the look that says ‘I know what you're doing, but I haven't decided if I will be an ass about it.’ Or maybe that’s just Sanji's interpretation of Zoro’s current scowl.

“Well I work at my foster father’s restaurant as a chef. You had the pleasure of my cooking at the party.” Taking another sip of his drink Sanji tries to hide the smug grin he can feel beginning on his lips at the shocked look before him.

Sanji watches as it disappears in an instant and a smirk takes it place as the mug comes back up to Zoro’s pale lips. “It was… sub par.” The smirk is still there sitting on Zoro's face in full bloom. Not fading, not returning, just staring.

“I see that smirk shithead. No ones cooking is as good as mine except for the old mans.” And it’s the truth. None of the other guys at the restaurant can get close to Sanji's level. Especially not Patty or Carne. They are so low on the pole that they are assistant dishwashers, at least that is where Sanji puts them. Zeff on the other had has them as sous chefs. Something Sanji will never understand.

Zoro's smirk disappears and is replaced by, well a serious face. “I take it that’s your foster father.”

There’s the reason for the serious look. The look that wants to know why Sanji was part of that system. The look that usually is already building up pity to hand over to Sanji when he doesn't need it from anyone. “Yup. Raised me most of my life. I will never be able to repay him for that.”

Sanji never sees the pity rise to the front, instead it just becomes more of a determined look. One that says Zoro understands. That he is right there with Sanji. “I have some of those in my life too. Koshiro and Smoker.”

And Sanji's right. Zoro has the same. It might not have been the same circumstances but, Zoro gets it. Besides that, what the hell is up with that name? “What kind of name is that, Smoker?”

A short bark of laughter erupts from Zoro, making him cough on the sip of coffee he had just finished swallowing. “Koshiro is my adopted dad. He’s Japanese. He’s the one who has taught me everything I know.” There’s a pause were Zoro’s mind drifts out, like he’s remembering something, and not the good kind of something. It’s the sad kind. Sanji can tell by the way Zoro's eyes glaze a little and his lips quiver. Its gone as soon as Sanji sees it though. Must be years old in order to be able to pass it by that quickly now. “Smoker’s a detective. It’s both his nickname and his name. He is an odd man. Like an uncle to me.” Zoro's eyes crinkle in the corners that a memory brings him. Sanji wishes he could be a part of whatever it is. “Called him that for awhile too. He hated it.”

Well, now Sanji can see it. A detective being called uncle by a shitty little brat like Zoro. Yeah, Sanji might hate it too. “Detective. Guess you have never gotten in trouble with the law than.” Its a fair point to make, since the guy was, maybe still is, like an uncle. Sanji knows he can't say the same for himself and the law enforcement, but hey no ones perfect.

“HA! Far from it! I spent several weekends every couple months sitting in the drunk tank in order to get sober. I knew all the guys there by name before I was 19.” The way Zoro says it makes Sanji think that this is something that still might happen often. An alcoholic before the age of nineteen. At least they are in a boat about something, even if the addiction isn't the same.

“Really? I knew all the police in my area too. Spent too many nights having to sit in a cell for fighting. Zeff hated me for it.”

They go on for hours just talking about little things. Different things. Their favorite foods, movies, and so on. Sanji even feels himself wanting to explain to Zoro why he was in the foster system growing up. He stopped himself before he could knowing that it would be too much to discuss on the first date. Not a story to tell till they've been seeing each other for at least a couple months. They go right up to dinner time when Zoro’s stomach interrupts their conversation about Sanji’s fighting style and how he only implements his feet, refusing to use his hands because they are a chefs greatest asset.

A light red creeps up Zoro’s cheeks when he realizes that it is his stomach that interrupts them. “Sorry bout that.” His hand goes up to rub the back of his neck. “Guess all I've had since lunch is this coffee.” He picks up the empty mug to make his point.

“Well if you want,” Sanji offers, “you can come over to mine and I can show you a movie I’m sure you’ll love. If you haven't already seen it.” Zoro’s left eyebrow raises as he leans forward on the table. Sanji can't help but watch the pull of his shirt across his shoulders, or miss the skepticism in Zoro’s expression. “I don't mean porn shit head, or sex. Just pizza, beer, and a movie.”

The biggest smile Sanji's has seen yet crosses Zoro’s mouth as he laughs. “You got it, eyebrow.” He stands from his chair pulling his jacket on. “Lead the way.”

Sanji stands as well, wrapping himself in his coat. Upon leaving the cafe Sanji notices for the first time how dark it's gotten. “Follow me shit head and don’t get lost.” Pulling out his phone Sanji asks, “What kind of pizza do you want? Going to go ahead and order now so it should be there a little after us.”

While waiting for Zoros reply Sanji turns in the direction of his apartment pulling his smokes and lighter out. Flicking the lighter to life he takes a drag looking over at Zoro to see that the meat head isn't beside him but a few feet behind, stopped, looking up at the sky. Sanji takes the moment to look over Zoro. He has a build Sanji has never gone for in a man before. Usually Sanji goes for the slimmer men, like his fucking ex Gin. But Zoro, he has his own appeal. All that muscle hidden beneath tan skin. The green hair is a bit different, but that can be overlooked. The grey eyes are also different. Sanji can't ever remember meeting someone with eyes that color, like the color of a cloudy morning before rain.

_I'm so fucked._

 

* * *

 

Zoro stares up at the sky, watching the clouds cover the stars and moon during their passage. He can feel Sanji looking at him. Those bright blue eyes moving from his shoulders, to his head, landing on his eyes when he looks back at him. Zoro watches as Sanji flicks his hair to the side before taking a drag off his cigarette.

One thing that has gotten Zoro the most enamored with Sanji since the night of the party are his hands. They aren't dainty, but they aren't a fighters hands either. Zoro has only ever dated guys who have been hand to hand fighters in one way or another.

There was Coby trained in hand to hand, Saga who used to do kendo with Zoro, Tashigi was a slightly different story but still was a swords woman, and then there was Killer, the asshole who cut shit up.

Sanji’s different. Yes, he is a fighter, but he is more than just that. He is also a creator. The callouses on his hands are from years of hard work in order for him to create food to feed people with, not to kill them, hurt them, or imprison them.

Sanji is going to be different. Sanji is going to last a long time. His steady hands tell Zoro everything he needs to know about where this relationship is going to go, and Zoro can’t wait for it to really get started.

 

**_ December 7  _ **

In the morning Sanji goes about his routine with an extra bounce and flare to everything. Yesterday had been great and the evening had been even better. Sanji honestly can't remember a time when he had so much fun on a date or watching a movie.

He had been right in the fact that Zoro would love it and was equally surprised that Zoro had never seen ‘Sword of the Stranger.’ The movie seems to basically be about Zoro.

Every time Nanashi did a certain move Zoro would comment about how he could do that and how it’s a hard move to learn. Sanji couldn't tell if Zoro was showing off at first or if maybe he was just saying it to say it. Sanji learned as the film went on that Zoro saying all this was just him not filtering his mouth, which apparently happens with most sword movies because he likes to point out if that is possible or not, and how ridiculously easy some things are to bloke that aren’t blocked.

They had to pause the movie at one point cause Zoro got so enraged at something Luo-Lang did that he had to take a breather on the porch in the snow with no hat, jacket, or scarf. Sanji will admit he got a damn good laugh out of that, especially when Zoro came back in lightly blue and needing a blanket and tea to warm up. He was quieter after that.

There was no sex. There was no kiss at the door good night, but there were plans made for another date later in the week when they are both free again.

As Sanji grabs the last of his smokes and lighter off the table by the door before heading out to work he is reminded that he needs to pick up more of his stuff before the itch under his skin starts to get too much for him.


	3. Breathing in the Snowflakes

**_ December 7 _ **

Sanji steps on the concrete at the back of the Baratie, cigarette already in hand with his lighter ready to flick to life. The evening hadn't been too bad, it wasn’t busy, but then Zeff kicked him out of the kitchen when he started an argument with Patty about the grill lines on the fish he was preparing. Zeff’s exact words went something like, “Go get that cancer stick fix you need to be civil. If you even know what that means.” Fucking old man. Always making a joke out of Sanji. Old geezer. 

A small flame burns to life atop the silver lighter, making the end of the cig in his mouth turn cherry red with the embers of the paper. A long inhale in and out already helps Sanji’s nerves. The itch is getting worse in Sanji’s veins, but at least the cigarette dulls it. Tonight he’s going to have to get more. It’s lasting shorter now than it used too. Sanji used to be able to go at least two weeks before needing to get more, but recently it’s been hitting at just a week. Something needs to be done, Sanji knows that, but it’s harder than people think. It wouldn't be Sanji's first time trying to stop, but the itch. It runs through his veins, to the tips of his hair, his fingernail, and toes. It courses through him till another hit is taken and only then does it subside to a small ache. Even thinking about the liquid limb feeling it gives him doesn't help anymore. This has gone on for so long Sanji fears he may not be able to stop. Hopefully this relationship he is just starting will be the beginning of his recovery. 

The door behind him opens to reveal Nami and Brook stepping out. Brook’s dark skin in contrast with the snow around them, while Nami’s hair gives the world a highlight of color. Brook pulls one of his own cigarettes from his pocket. One of the ones he makes at home. Sanji’s tried one before, but it left a bad taste in his mouth and didn't dull the itch, at the time. Sanji thinks there was too much organic stuff in Brook’s cigarettes than what Sanji's used to. 

Before he thinks about it Sanji has his lighter pulled out of his pocket again and flicking the flame back up to light Brook’s up. All Brook does in thanks is nod before pulling out another for Nami. Sanji’s only seen her smoke once or twice before and it's always interesting to watch. She doesn't smoke cigarettes like Sanji or Brook. She prefers hers fully organic, pot, if Sanji was asked to be blunt. Brook always carries one or two around with him just in case one of his friends is in dire need of a relaxant or something. Sanji lights up Nami’s as well, being the gentleman that he is.

“I take it today was a tough afternoon.” Sanji directs his eyes to the blunt Nami is lighting up with his out stretched lighter.

She takes a big breath, holding it for a count and then slowly releases. “You could say that.” She takes another smaller breath before continuing. “Two big wigs come in here getting $200 bills and then tip $20.” A shark grin breaks out across her face as she moves her free hand to her coat pocket pulling out two Rolex watches. “At least they left these.” She puts them back before taking another breath.

“I highly doubt they left them Miss. Nami.” Brook mentions before taking a large drag off his cigarette.

Sanji watches the smoke drift from the corner of his mouth before rebutting Brook’s remark. “Shut up, Brook. If she says they left them, than they left them. Isn’t that right, Nami-swan!” Sanji knows quite well Nami stole them. She tends to fence all the really high rollers who come here. It’s a surprise they never realize that they lose everything at the Baratie. 

She is especially vengeful when it comes to bad tippers. It’s how she makes her money, of course she’s going to compensate the bad tip with something from their persons. It’s only natural for her. No one seems to understand this besides Sanji and maybe Vivi, but the blue haired goddess only knows about half of what Nami takes.

“Exactly Sanji.” The smile doesn't fade while she takes another slow drag. On her exhale her features take a turn that only she seems capable of doing. The going from one extreme to another. Based on the current face it probably has something to do with Luffy. “Hey did you hear about what Luffy and Ace did yesterday?” One point for Sanji.

Brook grins at this information letting out a laugh before answering. “Yo ho ho ho. I can only imagine.”

“I take it those shitheads got into trouble again.”

Nami’s face goes livid. It only ever does that when it has something to do with money. “Trouble? That doesn't even begin to describe the amount of pain Garp is going to give them when he finds out, and he  will . The chief of police learns everything.”

Brook leans against the wall as he laughs, touching his free hand to his stomach. “Yo ho ho ho ho! This sounds like an excellent story.” He takes one last drag before flicking his butt into the bin beside the door.

Nami's eyes get harder the more she says. “They dined and dashed on a $2k bill.”

Sanji takes a drag before Nami’s sentence processes. Two points for- wait, 2k?! The smoke in Sanji's lungs feels too heavy all of a sudden. It’s being pushed out of his lungs in a coughing fit before he can say anything. Brook rubs his back trying to help, but honestly those bone thin fingers do nothing. “What-” cough “2k?! Those fucking idiots.” With the smoke not properly processed in his lungs like all the other drags have done the itch starts coming back. Creeping down his neck towards his fingers. Sanji takes a long drag holding it in like Nami does for a blunt, before slowly breathing it out.

“Yo ho ho ho ho. I wish I was there for that.”

The blunt seems to be doing Nami some good as she starts to calm down even in the face of what she said and is saying. “It was at Vivi’s cousins, Pell, place.” Usually if it has something to do with Luffy’s antics, money, or something to do with Vivi, Nami would be hunting Luffy down for murder. No wonder she needed to blunt today.

Sanji scoffs at the thought of those two hooligans in a place as nice as Pell’s. “Stupid idiots.” The first cigarette is almost out, so Sanji pulls out a second lighting it with the first. He usually doesn't chain smoke like this, but the crawling feeling isn't going away and he fears Nami and Brook might be able to see the bugs under his skin before his shift is over. “How is the dearest Vivi-chan doing? I haven't seen her around since the dinner party.” Deflect. Deflection is good.

“She's been busy finishing up a new line of sweaters that she wants to put out by New Years. She has barely had time for me.” Another hit of the blunt before it too will fade out, but Nami doesn't seem to notice. “However, I can’t wait to have one of those sweaters. She has done a fantastic job this time.” She says it like Vivi doesn't always do a good job with her fashion line. Well, there might have been that one time with the animal print stuff, but it’s a time no one speaks about around Nami unless they want to feel her wrath. “Speaking of significant others. How did the date go yesterday, Sanji?”

Sanji isn't expecting that. He hoped Nami might keep talking about Vivi and how awesome of a girlfriend she is. Sanji should have known better. Nami is always trying to pry into his love life. He doesn’t really understand why. “A gentleman doesn't date and tell Nami-swan. However, I can say that it went rather well. He was a bit late to the cafe, but then we talked till it got dark.”

“Please tell me you took him home.” Nami's eyes lit up waiting for the answer. Again with needing to know. Nothing happened, but she doesn't need to know that, or that at one point during the night Sanji wished that he didn't send the moss head home.

“Miss. Nami you're being a bit too enthusiastic.” Thank you Brook, but once Nami sets her teeth into something she wants to know she isn't going to let up.

“I want to know. Tell me Sanji.” Case and point. Three points to Sanji.

“I did, but we watched a movie and ate pizza before he went home.” Sanji takes his longest drag yet of his second smoke. Reveling in the feel it gives him as it takes the itch down and calms his nerves to the interrogation Nami decided to act upon him.

Brook’s hand comes down to pat Sanji's shoulder as he says, “Yo ho ho, that's great Mr. Sanji. Sounds like a second date is planned.”

“It is.” One of the small quiet smiles Sanji has been getting through the morning when thinking of Zoro crosses his face. “The marimo is quite interesting.”

“Bet he’d be even more so with his clothes off.” Nami elbows him in the gut while lifting her eyebrows.

“Nami-swan! I don't know-”

The door behind them bangs open revealing Zeff’s raised wooden leg and unhappy mustached face. “You three have been out here too long. Get your butts back to work. The rush is coming in.” With that he turns and storms back into the kitchen leaving three stunned faces in his wake.

“Back to the piano.” Brook tips his hat before sauntering off back into the building and through the kitchen to the dining area. Nami waves him off while flicking the end of her blunt into the bin across the alleyway. 

“I'm upset you didn't have sex with him,” Nami says as she moves through the door, turning her head around to finish the sentence with a smile, “but I’m glad you had a good time.” Then she disappears through the door from the kitchen to the dining room. Sanji flicks his cig butt in the same place Nami did before turning around to enter the door. 

There is no way Sanji can tell them how far gone on Zoro he already is. It’s only been one date for fucks sake. Sanji has never been more of a sap than now. Staring up at the grey clouded sky he thinks to himself that he wants to keep Zoro. To protect him from what he is and what he’s done- does. All Sanji can hope for is that Zoro feels the same and won't go to another better than him.

 

**_ December 17 _ **

Over the past ten days Sanji gets into a habit of inviting Zoro over. Zoro isn't going to complain. Far from it. He loves it. He really enjoys going over and watching the kick ass entertainment system that Sanji has set up in the living room. The food Sanji makes for him is also beyond compare. Zoro jokes that it all sucks and Sanji can't cook worth a damn, but they both know that that isn't true. There is no way someone doesn't love Sanji's food. It’s just impossible and Zoro is one of them. Sure he calls him a shit cook and makes fun of him, but Zoro never really means any of it. Never has. 

The one thing that Zoro can complain about is the fact that he only ever seems to sleep on the couch if he passes out during a movie, like he did tonight, or he sleeps in the spare room, also known as Sanji's work out room. 

Man can he kick. The way his legs move under, around, and above him. The display of power that Sanji shows with each move is mouth watering. The first time Zoro saw him practice there was a tent in his pants when Sanji finished and Zoro had to excuse himself for the rest of the day, unable to talk to the blond for fear Sanji was going to find out what had happened. 

What Zoro wants when he spends the night isn't sex, though. That will come when it comes, but what he has been wanting, especially after Sanji's first display of his savate/capoeira mix martial arts, has been to just sleep wrapped up in those long legs with those stupid eyelashes and brows fluttering on his chest or cheek. 

Unfortunately Sanji hasn't wanted that yet. He wants ‘more feelings’ between them before they start sleeping together. Sanji had meant sex, but he didn't listen when Zoro said that wasn't what he was looking for. 

They have some communication issues. Zoro knows that his insults all mean the opposite of what he says. That each ‘idiot cook’ out of his mouth is dripping with more than just flirtatious insults. They have more than one meaning and Zoro hopes Sanji sees that soon cause he really can't take staring up at this ceiling anymore. He‘d prefer it if there was smooth pale skin above him. With maybe a dash of sweat from a heavy workout on the mats. Eyes glinting with mischief as Sanji lowers himself atop Zoro. That, that sounds like a great thing. Like Zoro is drunk all over again. He always does feel drunk whenever he’s around Sanji. Then maybe Zoro’s hand can lift up to cup -

“DON’T!” 

Zoro springs off the couch at Sanji's yell through the apartment, turning to face Sanji's bedroom door. There are more noises coming from inside the room. It doesn't sound like a struggle. Zoro can't hear anyone else within. The sound of moving sheets though is starting to increase, like Sanji can't get himself out of them. 

Moving cautiously Zoro walks around the couch, past the kitchen, and bathroom door before he is standing in front of Sanji's room. It’s when Zoro hears the sound of a body part smacking the head board that he finally opens the bedroom door to see what's going on. 

With the way the room is situated the first thing Zoro sees through the crack are Sanji's closets, his computer table, and the foot of his bed, were sure enough Zoro can see Sanji's feet thrashing about like he is trying to run from something. When the door fully opens Zoro watches as Sanji twists and turns in his sheet, moaning about a ‘stupid fucking rock’ and hunger pains. It hits Zoro than that it’s not so much a nightmare as it is a flash back. 

He can't remember how the conversation had started, but he does remember learning how Sanji got in the foster system. An abusive dad. That had been the extent of the conversation at first, but something Zoro had said later seemed to loosen Sanji’s lips. His father was more than just abusive, he was… honestly he was insane. 

Sanji said he was great till his third birthday when everything just went wrong. He started beating Sanji's mom and then Sanji as well. He would refuse to feed them, locking them in the basement for days before he would toss a loaf of bread down. Sanji said his mom always gave him the most, but it was never enough. There was one point were Sanji had started eating rocks and pebbles just to make the hunger feeling go away. He said eventually his dad killed his mom right in front of him. It’s the reason he treats woman as he does, because he had seen enough of the bad that he had to show the good. 

At first Zoro wanted Sanji to stop with the story, but Sanji went on, he said the only way he got out at six was when he stabbed his father and ran. It was when the police finally got involved. 

After Zoro had heard that he had to share his own. He told Sanji about being found in a shoebox only a couple hours old, abandoned most likely cause of his mutated hair color, and already dieing from the cold. Smoker found him and took him to Koshiro, his wife, Maka, who had just had a miscarriage the month before, and daughter, Kunia. When Zoro was two Maka died and then when Zoro was seven Kunia had an accident and passed away as well. It was after that that Koshiro opened his doors to the foster system and got Yosaku and Johnny.

It’s a conversation Zoro will never forget and standing here seeing the aftermath of what that poor fucking excuse for a father was, Zoro has to help do something about it. Cautiously Zoro moves up to the bed, making shushing noises like he’s trying to calm a wild scared animal. There is minimal change in Sanji's thrashing, but it does subside enough for Zoro to put a knee on the bed and lay a palm to Sanji's cheek. 

He remembers Sanji mentioning that that is what his mother used to do and Zeff followed the example as well. When his palm warms up to Sanji's skin his movements stop. Sanji's breathing regulates and his eyes stop twitching behind the lids. Zoro slowly pulls himself up onto the bed, not bothering with getting under the covers because of how wrapped up they are around Sanji's legs. Slowly he moves his hand from Sanji's cheek to the back of his neck pulling the blond towards him. He feels Sanji let out a sigh before completely relaxing in Zoro's hold. It isn't long before Zoro feels his own sigh escape and sleep take him.

 

_** December 18 ** _

Sanji wakes to a warm body pressed up to his side. He can't remember letting Zoro in his bed last night, but then again he can't remember much of yesterday with the remnants of last nights nightmare still sifting around in his head. 

That could possibly be the reasoning behind why Zoro is here, but then why didn't he just wake him? It would have been easier. Sanji isn't going to complain though. He has warm tan skin pressed up to his side, a calloused hand lazily draped over his stomach and a green head caressing his cheek. 

There is no way to lie about it but Sanji wants this more often. He wants Zoro in his bed every night now, and not even for just sex, but like cuddling and stuff. As much as Sanji wants to bask in the warmth and comfort of Zoro in his bed, there is an itch under his skin starting to spread through his veins that he needs to be taken care of. As much as Sanji wants the moss head here all the time, he can't be here for that. Never for that. 

Sanji carefully extracts himself from Zoro's hold, lightly walking to the door to the bathroom before venturing to make breakfast. With one quick look back to see Zoro’s eyebrows all scrunched up and hand trying to grab a body that isn't there, Sanji smiles before closing the bathroom door to start his day.

 

* * *

 

Zoro wakes to the smell of bacon filling the apartment. Groggily he picks himself up from the empty bed and makes his way to the bedroom door leading into the living area. The smell is stronger the further he pulls the door open and with each step he takes to make it to the bar by the kitchen.

“Morning, marimo.” Sanji says as he fixes Zoro not only a plate of bacon, eggs, and hash browns, but also coffee. “Black, no cream, no sugar. Just the way you like it, shithead.”

Zoro looks down at the placement in front of him before taking the fork Sanji is holding out to him. “Why do I feel like I'm being fed and then getting kicked out.”

Sanji makes a small strangled huff of a laugh before leaning across the bar to sweep his thumb across Zoro's cheek bone. “Cause you are, marimo. I got shit to do today.” 

Sanji doesn't mention what happened in the night, or how he woke up with Zoro in the bed with him. So Zoro won't pry. Besides Zoro can read not only between the lines, but has recently been getting very good at deciphering Sanji speak. And that just there, was a thank you. 

Since Zoro doesn't do ‘you're welcomes’ he decides to gruffly nod before turning his head to kiss the top of Sanji's thumb. The smile Zoro is greeted with when he looks back up to Sanji's face stops his heart a beat. That smile. It’s the same one Sanji gets when he starts into his rant about the restaurant he is going to one day own, All Blue. Zoro he put that smile there, not the blond’s dream, but him. 

Zoro mentally fist bumps before stuffing his face full of food. When he’s done Sanji does as promised, he gives Zoro a steal-the-socks-off-you kiss before literally kicking him out the door. It works out for Zoro since he has classes to teach at the dojo but, Zoro won't deny he would have loved to stay longer if he could get more of those kisses.

 

* * *

 

During the mandatory lunch hour that Koshiro imposed on the dojo, especially after hiring Ace several years back, the guys trap him in the break room. Well, Johnny and Yosaku do, with Ace tagging along to get a laugh out of Zoro's predicament, and Law because he needs to eat and this is the room to do that in. Well at least that’s what Law is projecting.

It’s the look in Johnny’s eyes that has Zoro nervous from the moment his foster brothers sit down in front of him. “So, Aniki?” Johnny asks with the failing attempt of being nonchalant about what he wants. Zoro can read it in their eyes. They want info, and they want it about him. Meaning that they want it about him and Sanji. Fuck this shit.

“Is it love?” Yosaku’s question hits the nail on the head. Fuck these guys. Zoro doesn't want to talk about it, it’s his business not theirs if he is falling in- that word. Which, Zoro is pretty sure he might be but he doesn't want to admit it to anyone yet, let alone himself. Besides, him and Sanji have only been seeing each other for a couple weeks. Saying that now is way too early, plus he has never said it to anyone before. He never even said it to Coby and they were together for a couple years in high school. 

While Zoro is taking a bit of his sandwich, wishing it was one of Sanji's masterpieces instead of his clumsy attempt at a BLT, Ace decides to mock him. “Ya aniki, is it love?”

Zoro coughs up a lung full of sandwich before swallowing and taking a large gulp of his Gatorade. Ace’s eyes are shining when Zoro looks up to him. The glee in those brown eyes can't even be fought with the hatred in Zoro’s. “Shut it Ace!” Even the finger pointing towards Ace has no effect. Nothing ever phases the guy. Him and Luffy are perfect brothers doing whatever the fuck they want and never being afraid about it. Zoro turns back to the idiot duo before him. They really do make the best couple. If only their annoyingness didn't rub off on each other so much. “Leave it alone guys, it really has nothing to do with you.” Like that is going to help this. Zoro can feel a sigh building in his chest as he takes another bit, glancing his eyes over to Law who's watching everything out of the corner of his own. Impassive my ass.

“We just want to make sure you're happy.” Johnny knows this could be the question that makes him talk, the shithead. Him and Yosaku were there for the Killer incident last year, well so was everyone else in the room, of course they would worry. Killer did almost try to maim him at one point. “That’s all.”

Zoro can feel himself breaking while looking into Johnny's eyes. The only time the guy ever takes his glasses off is when he is trying to get Zoro to talk about stuff he doesn't want to. 

Too bad for him that Ace’s next comment closes Zoro down. “Did you have sex yet?”

That fucking asshole. “I said shut it Ace!” The least he can give to Johnny is a simple answer about his happiness. If that’s all Johnny wants then he will leave him alone, but if he wants more so help him Zoro will never give it unless in dire alcoholic need. Damn he needs a beer. “Yeah Johnny. I’m happy.”

“That's great!” Johnny and Yosaku chime at the same time. They really are perfect for each other.

“You guys are too loud, ya.” Zoro looks over at Law, watching the man turn a page in a book before lifting his fork to his mouth again. “Tone it down.”

“Eat your tofu, Law.” Ace knows, just like everyone else at the dojo, that that is not tofu. It’s got to be meat, but the kind will forever elude all of them. All they know is that Law knows how to make it so that is melts in your mouth. Not as good as Sanji's, obviously, but it was the best Zoro had had till he met the blond. 

Ace turns his eyes from Law back to Zoro needing his full attention on Zoro's face in order to see his reaction to whatever comment is about to escape Ace’s mouth. “So, Zoro, have you seen his dangly bits yet?”

Yup, that's it. Zoro can't take Ace’s shit anymore. He can go fuck himself on a broomstick. No, wait, the guy might actually like that. Zoro has heard enough of Ace and Marco’s sex stories to last a life time. “Fuck off Ace! No I haven't.” The looks Johnny and Yosaku are shooting him tell him the Zoro needs to answer this question, but he is going to do it in the most unhelpful way. Giving as little info as possible. “I did sleep with him in his bed last night though.” Their eyes, all of them, even Law’s grow several sizes. “Oh god! We just slept! He was having a nightmare and I went to help. That’s all.” Johnny and Yosaku's eyes don't get any smaller, but Ace’s do. They even seem to be getting some other emotion in them as well. Something that reminds Zoro a lot of pity. “Shove off! All of you!.”

Law diverts his gaze before packing up his lunch and book back into the small messenger bag he uses. “I haven't said a thing.”

Ace turns his eyes to Law watching him walk out the door while saying. “No, but I know you are just eating all this up, Law. You’re that kind of guy.” Law doesn't argue it. He even smirks a bit while walking out the door with Yosaku and Johnny trailing after him talking to themselves. 

“Hey, Zoro. How attached are you to him? Is it love?” This is Ace’s serious expression looking at him right now. Zoro rarely sees it and whenever he does it usually means something bad. Something that Zoro needs to keep in mind for later.

“You usually don't do serious like this Ace. You ok?” Ace gives a half formed smile as his answer waiting politely for Zoro to go on. “Well… it might be.” This isn't something Zoro wants to talk about, but Ace isn't really giving him a choice. “I know I want to see him more and I want this to last for awhile.” There is more Zoro could say to this. He could talk about the way Sanji's hands move when he cooks and how Zoro is enraptured by it. How Sanji's lips look perfect sitting around a cigarette butt. Yet, he can't say any of that. There is no way Zoro can talk about that with Ace. Never ever. “Please don't make me talk more about this shit.”

Ace just looks at him. It’s the kind of look that says he can read minds. That he knows what Zoro is thinking. That he knows how Zoro feels. “Zoro… be careful with Sanji.” There’s a hand on Zoro’s shoulder squeezing lightly before retracting itself. “Watch your heart with him, and don't get too attached.”

Zoro doesn't get a chance to respond before Ace turns around and walks out of the break room claiming he had a class to get to. A quick glance at the clock in the room tells Zoro that he has one too. Quickly packing up his left overs he forgot about Ace’s warning as he hurries to his room to begin teaching his beginning kendo class.


	4. Long Night

**_ February 10 _ **

Christmas comes around and Zoro doesn't get to see Sanji as much as he wants too. First the holidays get in the way. Zoro and Koshiro end up going to Japan for Christmas and New Years to spend it with family there, while Sanji celebrates his holidays at the restaurant with his ‘family.’ 

They try and make up for the couple weeks apart through skype calls, but they aren't really the same. Sure they can talk, but they had gotten into a habit of going to each others places a couple times a week to watch a movie, cuddle, and make out. As unmanly as that sounds they both enjoyed it. 

Hell they were ready to have sex by the time Zoro had to leave for the holidays. It would have been the best Christmas present he could hope for. Yes, they had done some grinding and Zoro could appreciate the package Sanji's sporting under his slacks, but there is a difference between dry humping during a sex scene in a movie and actually touching it and holding it in ones hand. Especially if it leads to foreplay, then to prep, and penetration. 

God, Zoro would love to see Sanji under him red chested and sweating. Or maybe even above him panting while he moves inside Zoro. Either sounds fabulous right now, but unfortunately that can't happen because he is in court with Ace and Marco. Their dumb asses got caught by Smoker no less for possession of marijuana. They know the guy. So the fact that they got caught by him is just a fucking mess. Even after Zoro got back from Japan he was pushed straight into helping the two block heads get a lighter sentence. 

Not like Zoro is very good at helping them with it, but since he knows Smoker and most of the people at the station he is able to help to a degree. Garp is the unhelpful one. Zoro thought he might help Ace get out of it, but apparently enough is enough. Whatever Ace gets from this Garp is hoping that it will teach him a lesson about life. For once. Zoro doesn't really think so, but one can hope. 

Because of all this court drama Zoro hasn't been able to see Sanji as often and when he can they usually have an aggressive make out on the couch with hands down each others pants or they just pass out. Sanji has also been working ridiculous amounts. Zoro thought he might help Ace, but turns out Sanji couldn't care less. In fact he avoids going to the court hearings and even declines talking about it. Something’s up with that, but Zoro can understand. Especially if it stems from whatever happened with Sanji's family history. So, Zoro hasn't really pried into it. He kind of just let it flow, but today is the last meeting for Ace and Marco’s hearing so Sanji should be here, even if there have been a lot of people at the restaurant, Sanji could still take an hour off to hear what's going to happen. 

After the session, when Ace and Marco are told they are on probation only with mandatory community work and random drug tests, Zoro immediately calls Sanji to see if they can hang out. It’s already getting to the middle of February and they have barely seen each other since the start of the year. 

When Sanji says he isn't available till the next day, Zoro feels a pout forming on his face. He never pouts. He clears his mind about the disappointment before making his way home to drown in some alcohol. It always helps to block out any wanted feeling forming in Zoro’s brain. Feelings that tell Zoro he isn't good enough for the guy he has practically fallen for. The guy he talks to on the phone every other day. The one he wants to, maybe, one day share a life with. One where they tell each other everything, the good, the bad, and don't clam up when they need too. 

Zoro has noticed he has been doing that. He has never really addressed his drinking problem with Sanji, although since meeting Sanji it has gone down a lot, but that isn't the point. He has mentioned it, but he holds back from saying how bad it really is. How some nights he drinks just so he doesn't have to feel anything, or even on the nights that he drinks just to feel something. Koshiro has tried to help, but it never sticks. 

Maybe, maybe Sanji will be the one. The one who helps. The one who makes the pain and numbness go away. And hopefully he is the one that makes the tan on Zoro’s left finger dull at the bottom, but that’s just wishful thinking. Something that won't happen for a long time, not if Zoro is still keeping things from Sanji, such as his drinking, and Killer. 

Zoro’s phone buzzes as he steps through the door to his apartment building. It’s the fastest Zoro has ever gotten anywhere. Maybe not thinking about directions helps. That or he has been doing the same route for so long this past month that it is just ingrained in him. 

It’s a text from Sanji asking to meet up tomorrow at the cafe they had their first date. He says they will make plans for Valentines than. 

Zoro can't help himself, he fist bumps the air as he makes his way up the stairs to his apartment. Writing out his reply he feels the need to drown himself in booze subside. Hopefully it stays gone for the night.

 

**_ February 14 _ **

Valentines. A day that Zoro dreads, but this year he has something to look forward too. Last year it was just him and Killer, a lot of blood on the floor and walls, and the police. Thank god for Smoker at the time, but now. Now it’s Sanji. 

The leggy blond that gives as good as he gets. The sharp potty mouthed blond that makes the best damn food Zoro’s ever had. The sexy blond that has found most of Zoro’s soft spots along his neck and shoulders, and even how best to jack him off so that he gets both the pain and pleasure out of it. Cause Zoro’s got to face it, he is a masochist for certain things. Sex needs a bit of pain to make it the best in all honesty, and Sanji seems like he will be able to give that to him.

“Roronoa-sensei.” One of the kids in his morning class tugs on his sleeve bringing Zoro back to the dojo and the class he had just been having do their warm up. Not the best place to get a boner. These are all the six to eight year olds. Stupid idiot.

Zoro clears his throat before addressing the class again, “Back to it.” 

Yes, Zoro does it again just ten minutes later and keeps spacing out through the rest of the class and the rest of the ones he has to teach that day. He’s so thankful when five comes around because it signals that its time to leave. He yells at Yosaku to clean his room since he has somewhere to be, before rushing out the door to make it back to his apartment with enough time to take a shower and make himself presentable. That’s a lot more said than done really. He gets lost four times on his way home, but at least his shower is short and does the job. But it’s the clothes that stump him up the most. 

Zoro doesn't really have a lot of nice clothes, not like Sanji does. He does have one forest green button down that matches his hair, but he doesn't own slacks. Instead he finds his nicest pair of jeans, the ones without holes or stains to wear. He decides to go ahead and tuck the shirt in a little, but leave the top two buttons undone. Looking at himself in the mirror he can’t help but be proud of what he has accomplished. 

Usually he just throws on whatever he feel like wearing. Which has resulted in some pretty hilarious reactions from friends, and even Sanji. He slips on his boots before heading to the door and grabbing his leather jacket and scarf. He forgoes the beanie since it would just flatten his hair down into something Sanji will most likely scoff at when removed. Then he’s out the door and down the stairs, with enough time to get lost at least three times and still be early.

 

* * *

 

When Sanji glances at the clock in the kitchen at the Baratie he's pleased to realize that his shift is over. If he had to stand here for one more hour listening to Patty and Carne grip about how they aren't going to have a good Valentines like Sanji is, than he is really going to kick their asses. 

It was already bad enough when Zeff caught him zoning out for like the fortieth time that morning, thinking about Zoro and how he doesn't miss him as much now that they are seeing each other again, and started yelling at him for it. The fish he was preparing wasn't even burnt, it was perfect. It’s a recipe Sanji can can do in his sleep, no thought process needed. But no Zeff had to get all high and mighty. 

The yelling match that resulted out of that was one of the worst Sanji has had in awhile with his foster father. The one before that was when he starting smoking cigarettes. An argument that they have never brought up since because it would just start them up again. There was even kicking involved in it, both the one form long ago and the one today. Zeff kicked Sanji out the back door of the kitchen claiming he couldn't come back in till his head cooled off. 

Tough luck for Zeff. Sanji couldn't cool down properly without the right fix, the one that he gets when thinking about the different ways that Zoro is making him feel, like he can be something he isn’t, but the five cigarettes did help more than he could have hoped for. Not only did they calm the itch, but they calmed his mind some. Not enough that when the door opens and he thinks it was Zeff, he lashed out only to find Nami standing there with her hands on her hips in her waitressing outfit. She had taken the morning off to spend it with Vivi, but had to take the afternoon/evening shift since no one else was available. She hated it, but made do. A fact that she throws at Sanji before stepping up beside him to place her hand on his shoulder. A woman’s touch always calms him. After several minutes of them standing there they went back in with Sanji steadfastly refusing to talk to Zeff and vice a versa. At least they were in the kitchen together. 

But now Sanji could leave. He bids his goodbyes to the suckers stuck here for the night, even telling Zeff he will see him tomorrow evening, the fight being forgotten for the time being. 

Walking out the door he puts another smoke in his mouth making the long walk back to his apartment a bit easier to bare, and will hopefully calm his nerves. If only this dinner was at Zoro’s place, though he doesn't have the dining room equipment Sanji wants to use for the night, he might live in the opposite direction of Sanji’s from the Baratie, but at least he was closer to the restaurant. 

Sanji had originally chosen his apartment based on the fact that it was closer to the not so savory part of town. Gin was one of the big reasons for it. It made getting to the dealers easier, and it wasn't as uncommon to find someone high walking around on the streets. Sure the chances of getting caught were higher in the area, but Sanji made sure to be careful. 

Which was one of the reasons he didn't go to Ace and Marcos hearings. Ace understood so it worked out. But it’s just something that he keeps from Zoro. Something that he doesn't want to, but feels like he doesn't have a choice. If he told Zoro all that he actually smokes, and some of the things that he does to help fund his fix, he fears Zoro will leave and Sanji is invested enough now that he won't be able to take that. 

Arriving at his apartment he unlocks the door stomping the dirt off his shoes on the place mat outside before stepping in and removing his coat and shoes into the cabinet next to the door. He quickly walks across the living room and through the kitchen to get to the porch where he finishes off his cigarette. Taking one last puff he deposits the butt in the flower pot he keeps in the corner for this reason. Heading back to the kitchen he washes his hands before pulling out everything he needs to make their Valentine meal for the evening.

When the prep if done, the oven warming up, and the water set to boil Sanji goes to take a quick shower before putting on his favorite lucky black slacks, that hug him in all the right places, as well as his orange striped shirt and a black vest to finish it off. It is the sexiest outfit he has and he always gets lucky when he wears it. It better do the same tonight.

 

* * *

 

Zoro arrives around half past six, surprising himself for making it when he wanted to get here. He decided when they were planning the day, that he had to watch Sanji cook some. There is no way Zoro is going to miss the blond working his magic on the food. 

It’s the hands, it’s always the hand and how they move fluidly from one thing to another handling a knife like he was made too. Zoro is certain that if Sanji didn't have any issues with using his hands in a fight than he would make one of the best swordsman Zoro has ever fought. 

Alas Sanji doesn't, but he is still one of the best fighters Zoro has ever had the pleasure of fighting. Some of their practice sessions end up giving him the best work outs, and Zoro doesn't even use his katana in those fights. 

The first time Zoro told Sanji that he used three katana there was a lot of disbelief on Sanji's side. After the fight they had were Zoro proved Sanji wrong, let’s just say that there was some heavy petting involved after it. Mostly touching, nothing that they had to get naked for, unfortunately. Besides Koshiro would kill Zoro if he ever did anything like that at the dojo. 

Clearing his thoughts of anything too sexual Zoro knocks on the door, shifting from foot to foot while he hears Sanji moving around inside. the door swings open and the first thing Zoro notices is Sanji's fucking outfit. Holy shit. He is sex walking.  This is going to be a great night . Zoro can't help but notice that Sanji gives him a once over as well before reaching out for Zoro’s scarf and yanking him through the door into a rough kiss before closing it behind him. 

“Take off the leather jacket, muscle brains. You know where to put it.” Sanji lets go of the scarf, slowly trailing his fingers down Zoro’s chest as he does before turning around and fucking sauntering back to the kitchen and what he’s preparing.

Fuck me , Zoro thinks not meaning it just literally but also that this relationship they have is turning into the best damn thing he has ever had in his life. Coby was a good guy, Saga was till a point, but they just can't compare to the blond in the kitchen before him cooking up something that is making Zoro’s mouth water.

As soon as his jacket, scarf, and shoes are off Sanji directs him to the cupboard holding all the dishes and makes him set the table on the screened porch. It’s gotten warmer, but Zoro doesn't think its warm enough to have dinner out there, at least not yet. He doesn't want to argue Sanji though. Sanji had this practically planned before they even talked about it. He seemed so excited and Zoro isn't going to ruin that for him. 

When he steps out there he sees that the table has several candles placed around it as well as a small space heater plugged into the wall. Well there goes that fear. Sanji has thought of everything. When Zoro’s done with the table Sanji walks out of the door carrying two dishes. Zoro does his best to hide his disappointment in knowing that he barely got to watch Sanji work, while the blond places the plates down before jestering for Zoro to take a seat. Sanji heads back to the kitchen before emerging with a bottle of wine, a wine glass, and a beer. Idiot cook knows what Zoro likes.

“Thought you'd prefer a beer shit head.” Sanji says as he opens the beer in question and hands it to Zoro.

Zoro smiles at the gesture and notes that Sanji even got him his favorite brand. He takes a sip before saying,“Thanks, cook.”

A barely there smile forms on Sanji's lips while he opens the wine bottle he got for himself. “I even made the dish so that it works with both the wine I'm drinking and the beer.” He gestures to both before continuing, “You're welcome.” Sanji fills his wine glass half way before clicking it with Zoro’s slightly raised bottle. They smile at each other taking a sip before they start in on the food before them. 

Zoro has no words for the meal he eats that night. He ends up barely remembering what it was, in the wake of how good it tasted and how Sanji's eyes sparkled when he smiled at a stupid things Zoro said. But Zoro does remember dessert. Not for the dessert itself but for what he pulled up the courage to say before he tucked himself into the glory that it was. 

Zoro leans forward when Sanji takes his seat again, reaching out to take Sanji's hand, Zoro takes a deep breath before saying, “If we do this relationship thing right, I want you to know I'm never going to let you down.” Zoro can feel his heart beat speed up at the shocked look on Sanji's face. 

Zoro has never been one to say things like this, Sanji knows it, they have talked about it before. So saying it, and Sanji knowing, makes this whole confession that much more terrifying. Even knowing that there are things Zoro hasn’t talked to Sanji about, his exes, the alcohol, he still wants their relationship to go right and if it does, if he manages to keep Sanji he won't let him down. He will work at it to keep him, because no one has ever moved Zoro to talking like this except for Sanji. 

Zoro can see it, the moment Sanji realizes, Zoro sees it on his face and breathes a sigh of relief. Without even a word from Sanji Zoro knows he feels the same. He knows there are things that Sanji keeps from him just as there are things Zoro has kept. But the feeling of wanting this to keep going is mutual. With just that Zoro knows that he can keep going. He can move on in this and get to the point that he can talk about that stuff. 

One of the schmoopest smiles pulls across Zoro’s lips as he brings Sanji's hand up to them, placing a gentle kiss to the knuckles before putting it back and getting his fork to eat the dessert he hasn't even really look at yet. 

Tonight has been the best night he has had in a long time. He doesn't even want booze to get him through the feeling thing he just did. 

They eat their dessert in silence sneaking glances at one another before gathering their dishes and taking them to the kitchen to be washed later tomorrow, cause neither one of them can get themselves to do it tonight. 

“Hey, marimo,” Sanji calls from standing in front of his entertainment system in the corner of the living room. “Want to watch a cliche love movie?” He asks while holding up ‘The Princess Bride’ and giving it a little wiggle to match is curly eyebrow going up and down.

Zoro makes an affirmative noise in his throat before practically throwing himself onto the couch with his arms laid across the back. Sanji joins him as soon as the movie is in and the intro is starting. 

Zoro doesn't really pay attention to anything when he has Sanji sitting beside him on the couch. Today has been great. It couldn't have gone any better even if he re-did the day over and over. 

Lowering his arm around Sanji's shoulder he pulls the blond into him. The evening will only get better if there is cuddling involved. Maybe even some kissing. The same kind of aggressive one that Zoro got when he came in. 

Moving his other hand to lift Sanji's face to his, Zoro leans down to take his lips with his own. Every time their lips touch Zoro feels it in his toes. A tingling that doesn't go away. That calls out for more and Zoro is powerless to stop from giving it. The kisses grow as the movie plays on in the background. At some point during them Sanji migrates from beside Zoro to his lap, straddling his thighs and lightly grinding on top of him. It’s on the first hard grind down that Zoro realizes how hard he’s himself when he hisses through the kiss.

“Hey, cook.” Zoro manages to whisper between one kiss and the next. Man, the things Sanji can do with his tongue.

“Marimo,” The blond's lips move there way to behind Zoro’s ear slowly traveling down his neck, stopping at his pulse point for a small bite.

Zoro groans at the feeling. Sanji really has found all of Zoro’s little turn ons in that area. It might be time for him to find the rest on his body. “Shall we move this to the bedroom.” Zoro asks while placing his hands on Sanji's hip bones and using them to slow Sanji's movements till they stop altogether.

“Fuck yes,” is whispered on Zoro’s clavicle before Sanji picks himself up off of Zoro’s lap and starts to unbutton his vest while swinging his hips when walking to the door of his bedroom. He turns at the entryway, blue heated pools starting into Zoro’s own eyes and says, “You coming or not?” 

Zoro has never gotten off a couch faster.


	5. A Couple Grams

**_ February 14 _ **

Zoro’s been awake for awhile now. Listening to the sounds of the movie’s intro playing over and over in the other room. He doesn't know what woke him in the beginning, but the reason he remains awake is due to the warm body laying half on top of him in the bed. He also can't shut his brain off now that he’s awake and thinking about the blond beside him. 

Zoro’s never felt this way before. Never had his heart practically pound out of his chest with anticipation, nor stop the next second when naked skin is revealed under his hands. He has never felt the bubbling nerves that he had in his skin when they both were fully naked before each other. The noises Sanji made when Zoro’s lips wrapped around one of his nipples while he slowly worked a lubed up finger into the blond's tight heat. The feeling when he finally entered was more than just sexual gratification, it felt right. It felt like this is where Zoro is to rest his head for the rest of eternity. It’s were his body and soul needs to be. Sanji just being himself causes Zoro’s heart to stum. But when Sanji does things, like his hand did with that twist to his shaft, that has Zoro wanting to pick Sanji up from his feet and never let him down again. The floor and dirt below him might ruin his perfection. 

Zoro shivers at the thought. He has never put someone on a pedestal after Kunia. He has experienced the consequences of being let down by the one up there, but he can’t help it. He feels as if Sanji belongs there. That it is the one place he needs to be and the only place he can be. 

Zoro feels Sanji shift in his arms. Taking a quick peek at the clock Zoro sees that it’s just past midnight. Twisting his head back around to give Sanji's bright hair a kiss he's surprised by the blue eyes looking back at him. Twin smiles curl over both their lips before meeting together in a tender kiss. Zoro keeps his eyes closed after, wanting to drift back to sleep after the workout earlier in the night and then the deep thinking he just did. 

He feels himself drifting off when Sanji fits his lips to his ear and whispers, " Was that good for you?"

Zoro huffs under his breath letting a little bit of a grin break through his features making sure Sanji know that the huff isn’t a bad thing. "Yes, Sanji," Zoro whispers back turning onto his side to face the sleep warm blond before him. "Best I’ve had in a long time." Zoro can't have been more honest. Last person he actually had consensual good sex with was Saga, a week before he dumped Zoro for some girl he apparently got pregnant. Not the best memory, but still its the truth.

Sanji's fingers run up Zoro’s left arm stopping to cup his neck. “Sounds like there is a story to that.”

Zoro hums an affirmative, closing his eyes to the memories that want to take hold. “There is, but not really one I want to tell.” Opening his eyes again he sees a determined glint in Sanji's reflected by the light streaming in the window behind Zoro.

“How about this,” Sanji begins, moving his hand from Zoro’s neck to hold his left hand in his. “A story for a story.”

Zoro thinks on it. It’s not a bad idea. Zoro will get to tell Sanji some of the things he has been wanting to tell him for awhile now, and he will get to hear some of Sanji's in return. An eye for an eye. “I go first I take it.” An eyebrow raises with the statement. It is only fair that Zoro goes first. “I've had,” he pauses. “This is a really awkward conversation to have with the guy I'm seeing, in bed, after sex.”

Sanji snorts at that. “Deal with it shit head. I will be doing the same in a bit.”

A sigh leaves Zoro's lips as he thinks about how to start this. He can't just start straight in with Killer, because there is more than just that ass hole. There is Coby, Saga, and Tashigi too. They each have a little part in some way. Might as well start with the first and end with the last. “I've had four partners before you.” Partners, a weird way to say it, but it’s the truth. Zoro feels the need for a shot or two running through his veins. “The first was in high school,” maybe three of them would be better for this topic of conversation, “we were together almost two years. We split amicably.” That’s the best way to say it. Coby fell for someone else while they were dating and Zoro did too. Sure they were upset at each other for a little while, but they got over it. “I still see him from time to time since he works for Smoker. The second started out in high school,” the one he fell for when still with Coby. The one he practically grew up with but never saw that way till he started flirting with Zoro. “He went to the dojo and we trained together for years before he asked me out. We were together a little over a year before he dumped me,” the seething anger in his stomach rises up. It always does when thinking of Saga, the ass, “cause he got a girl pregnant.” Man, Zoro needs a whole liquor store for the rest of this. “Then there was this girl, we were together a month before I split it off cause I just can't like woman like that.” It was Zoro’s first experience with a woman and he just couldn’t do it.  _ She also works for Smoker now _ _._ Maybe Sanji will make him a nice hard drink after this. He squeezes the hand held in his before continuing. “She also looks like my sister who died when I was young.”

Sanji's eyebrows shoot up. Of course the cook remembers that conversation. “Kunia?” He even remembers her name. Damn, he just keeps getting better and better. “You've mentioned her before.”

“Yeah, Kunia.” 

It’s this next one he doesn't want to talk about. The one that gave him his scars. Sure he wears them proudly now, but when they were first new he hated them. They showed he was weak. It wasn't till later when Koshiro caught him buried in the liquor cabinet that he convinced Zoro that they proved how strong he was. Zoro still doubts from time to time though. “The last partner I had ended a year ago today. He was…” maybe he should start with the man and not the personality, “His name was Kira, but he had everyone call him Killer.” Zoro should have realized than what was going to happen, but, after Saga, someone who said they needed him was too appealing. “At first he was great, but things changed quickly.” Too quickly. “He got possessive, took a knife to me several times. I could protect myself just fine so nothing really happened.” Zoro couldn't leave him. There was guilt every time Killer said that he might die without Zoro. The pulsing need for booze hits Zoro before the next words come out of his mouth. “We were together four months before he snuck into my old apartment.” The nausea comes back, the feeling of helplessness as he is shoved to the floor bleeding from across his chest, as a knife is taken again to his ankles to stop him from running, the blood from Killer’s head wound when Zoro gets a lamp to it, the pain. It all comes back and Zoro pushes it down, squeezing Sanji's hand as he goes on, “He tried to kill me.” His hand is squeezed in return and Zoro's eyes open.  _ When did they close? _ To see Sanji watching him, sadness in his eyes, but no pity. Sanji knows better than that. The nausea starts to fade as he finishes, “He said some stuff about ‘if he couldn't have me no one would.’” It’s out. Zoro got it out and Sanji doesn't hate him. That isn't in his eyes or in the squeeze of his fingers.

“Shit, and here I thought I had a bad one.” Sanji leans forward to press a kiss to Zoro’s lips. “Please tell me he’s in prison.”

A humorless chuckle punches out of Zoro “Yeah. Life sentence with possibility of parole on good behavior.” Fucker should have gotten the death sentence if Zoro had his way. “They found out that he had murdered some past lovers before me.” Ass hole.

Sanji's eyes widen and fear slips through them quickly. “Shit, Zoro that sucks.”

An understatement, but the truth. “It’s in the past.”

Sanji's fingers slip from Zoro’s hand to run across the scar on his chest. “I’m guessing that’s this scar across your chest.”

“Yup, and the ones on my ankles.” The light movements of Sanji's fingers across his chest bring down Zoro’s want to be numb. They bring him back to the moment. “Took awhile to heal physically and I sometimes still get flashbacks,” he had felt one coming when he was talking, but Sanji's warm palm kept him in this moment, “but rarely.” The last one he had was two months ago and another two before that.

“Fuck. Zoro.” Sanji kisses him soundly before pulling back and sighing. “My turn huh.” There's a pause as Sanji gathers his thoughts. “First two girlfriends weren't all that long, a couple months each, and both in high school. Nothing really interesting happened. They broke up with me on account of me being ‘too much.’”

Too much. Is that a kind way of saying that he treats women like princess, never letting them do anything for themselves. Zoro laughs out loud at the thought “I can see that.”

Sanji smiles at that. “Shut up, shithead.” And then it’s gone. This must be the serious one. The one that was a fuck head or something. “Anyway after high school there were just a lot of one night stands, with both genders, and then I met Gin.” Another pause, with more faces. A look that says he can't say something yet, another that looks afraid, and one more short one that looks like guilt. “He… well he was different.” Zoro lifts his hand to push Sanji's bangs out of his face revealing both eyes, before taking Sanji's hand like he did for him. “We dated six months before I called it off cause he entered a gang and I…” more guilt that doesn't leave as quickly as the first, “I hated him for it.”

That sounds wrong. The way Sanji says it makes it sound like it isn't the gang he hated, but something else. Something he doesn't want to reveal yet. Zoro isn't going to push. Sanji will tell him when he is ready. “A gang hmmm, wonder if it’s the one Smoker’s been after for years.” It’s a segway to something else. Something more comfortable for Sanji, but Sanji doesn't seem to get it.

“Maybe.”

Silence rings through the room as they stare into each others eyes. They both have lazy happy smiles crossing there faces. Zoro couldn't be more content if tried. Even though saying all that was hard, and so was hearing it, it’s still a step in a good direction. Zoro confessed things. Things he had been meaning too for awhile. Now all he needs to address is his co-dependence to alcohol. But that will be another topic for another day. Hell, with the way Sanji limits his drinks, like he did at dinner only giving Zoro a max of two, he might not need to. Sanji could possibly already know.

“Hey Zoro.” The whisper across his lips bring Zoro back. An eyebrow lifting letting Sanji know he is listening. “How did you fall for me?”

Zoro can see the light pink dusting across Sanji's cheeks when the question is put out there. Zoro can feel his own heat rising to his face. That is not a question he thought he might get. “Do I have to answer?” Fingers mentally crossed, but the look Zoro receives for that tells him ‘yeah, yeah, you do.’ A deep sigh leaves Zoro’s chest as he prepares his answer. But what can he say. Yellow hair and blue eyes. That’s what first caught his attention, sure, but not what made him fall for Sanji. “Your hands, and the way you cook with them.” That sounds about right, easy and too the point. The pink in Sanji's cheeks gets darker after Zoro’s answer. “What about you shit cook?”

 

* * *

 

Shit. How is Sanji going to answer this. Zoro’s answer was straight forward enough. The key to his heart is his stomach. But for Sanji, no one has ever found the key. He has no idea where his own shitty key is. The one thing Sanji can admit to is that the first morning he woke up with Zoro in his bed, after the nightmare, he never wanted that to end. “When I woke up and you were right beside me.” Short, simple, and blunt. Just like Zoro's answer. 

Sanji can feel the heat rising again in his cheeks when Zoro smiles at him. That stupid fucking smile, with those nice teeth and perfect kissable lips. Lips that Sanji is already kissing before he even thinks it. The marimo certainly knows what Sanji is thinking about that’s for sure. Minutes pass before Zoro slips off to sleep, his lips still pressed to Sanji's. 

Awake by himself Sanji's mind wonders. This has been the best day he has had in a long time. Yes the itch is still crawling under his skin, but it’s dulled by Zoro's presence. The happiness Sanji feels from the man he is starting to fall in love with helps more than he might  have ever thought with his addiction. Now if only it will go away forever. Cold turkey with no side effects. Yeah right, but Sanji can dream. 

If only the guilt about not telling Zoro about his habit when he mentioned Gin isn't eating at the glow in his heart. It pulls at it consuming little bits at a time and pushing the need faster through his veins. It doesn't dull even after he falls asleep holding Zoro close to his chest.

 

**_ February 15 _ **

Zoro is woken up to lazy kisses across his chest and wandering hands on his hips. A small peek past his lids reveals Sanji straddling him working his mouth down towards Zoro’s naval. “This is a nice way to wake up.”

Sanji's head shoots up from where it was placing a kiss along the center of Zoro’s scar. Smirking at Zoro, Sanji bends his head back down, never taking his eyes of Zoro's face. “What you up to, cook?”

Sanji hums under his breath as he makes his way down the scar, before sitting up and scooting down Zoro’s legs. Zoro’s body is laid bare to the blond, just as Sanji's is to him, and it’s perfect. Creamy skin, smooth under Zoro’s palm as he reaches out to Sanji. A negative noise escapes Sanji's lips as he scoots back more before picking up Zoro’s leg and kissing the scars on his ankles.  _ So that’s it _ , Zoro thinks. He’s healing what another has done. “Sap.” Zoro mutters under his breath when Sanji finishes with the second ankle.

“A sap that’s making you breakfast.” Sanji stand abruptly, grabbing a shirt out of one of his closets to throw on, as well as some sweat pants. His hips swaying as he leaves the room.

“Fucker.”

“I heard that,” Sanji yells through the open door before the sounds of cupboards opening takes over the apartment.

Zoro sits up looking for his boxers to shove on first before searching for his shirt and pants. After they are retrieved he slips them on, not bothering to button the shirt because it’s a hassle. 

He walks over to the kitchen, intent on seeing Sanji cook this time. He gets his wish and then he gets the result afterwards. Sanji practically shoves the food at him and tells him to hurry up before stepping out onto the porch for a smoke. Zoro follows, holding his plate in his hand and inhaling the food, needing to know what the big rush is, but he gets his answer before he even asks. Sanji is standing there with his phone to his ear yelling at Zeff about needing more notice next time. That answers that. 

Zoro steps back before Sanji even notices, quickly finishing up before stepping back onto the porch where Sanji is still in a debate with his foster father. A quick peck on the cheek with a phone mimed to his ear Zoro makes his retreat. 

Not the morning he had hoped to have, but it was certainly better than nothing.

 

* * *

 

Sanji can't believe Zeff. He said Sanji could have the fifteenth off and then he texts Sanji out of the blue at eight in the morning telling Sanji to get his ass there by nine or suffer the consequences. Too bad that is going to be impossible for Sanji, especially since he has a prearranged meeting with people that he needs to see at ten before nine. Even when Sanji tells Zeff this the old man still gets upset. The earliest Sanji can get there is half past nine and that’s what Zeff is going to get. Fuck him and his ridiculous needs. All he needs Sanji for is to work as a waiter, the shitty old man.

Sanji has a quick breakfast after Zoro takes his leave before he gets dressed to head to the diner he promised to meet Ace, Bon, and Spandam at. Sanji doesn't understand why Ace is going to be there. He is on parole, so he can't buy anything from Spandam. He was also very vague about it when the meeting was arranged two days ago. Who the hell knows.

As Sanji enters the diner he hears Bon’s laugh before he sees them sitting at the back. Ace eating what looks like the entire menu, Bon laughing across from him at whatever he is saying with his mouth full, and Spandam beside Bon looking for all the world like he doesn't want to be there. As soon as Sanji is in view, Spandam pulls out a little package from his coat pocket and hands it to Sanji as soon as he takes a seat beside Ace.

“Give me the money so I can go.” His face is set in a grimace as Ace mocks him to his face.

Sanji reaches into his pocket before taking out his wallet and counting out the cash he keeps specifically for this occasion. As soon as the money is in Spandam’s hand he gets up and walks out without a word behind him. Ass hole, but understandable. Bon and Ace are a required taste, especially when they are together like this.

“So,” Ace begins setting down his utensils. That can only mean one thing, and with the way Bon’s face matches Ace’s in intensity this can only be a serious talk, an intervention, that they are about to have. “How was your night?”

Sanji's visible eyebrow raises, that’s their question. No, there has got to be something more to it. “Better than I hoped.”

Bon cuts in, pushing straight to the point, making sure to keep his voice down so others won't hear. “Sanji you need to stop. I can’t watch you ruin yourself for the hits anymore.” His voice is even, not a lit, not a fluctuation to it.  Shit. This is serious talk . 

“You have to tell Zoro.” Ace’s voice cuts through Sanji like no knife could. “I can't see him get hurt again.” Killer. Ace was friends with Zoro at that point. No wonder he worries. 

But Sanji isn't Killer. Sanji isn't going to hurt Zoro like that. Yes, Sanji wants to stop, and yes he wants to tell Zoro but, “I’m too scared.” His voice is weak and he can't stand it. He stands up before a word gets out of either of their mouths and he walks off. 

He hears Ace tell Bon that if Sanji doesn't tell Zoro soon then he will.


	6. Fly to Another Land

**_ March 2 _ **

Sanji leans back against Zoro’s chest watching the water from the tub swirl around him. He hasn't been able to relax all day, even though it‘s his birthday. The shitty old man had him working today for one reason or another. Sanji stopped listening to him when he figured out that there was no way he was getting out of it. 

At least Zoro said Sanji could go over after Sanji's shift finished. That at least gave Sanji something to look forward to for the night. And what a something it has been. The moment Sanji walked through the door Zoro tackled him. Not in the sexual way, at first, but more in the you-are-tense-and-need-to-spare one. So that’s what they did. They went out onto the screened porch where Zoro keeps his workout mats and spared, which eventually lead to grinding on the porch. Which then led to making out while trying to get to the bedroom door and then having to navigate to the bed around Zoro’s piles of clothing strung across the floor. It all ended with a nice relaxing bath where Sanji has the marimo behind him being his pillow, and lips pressing soft kisses into his shoulders and neck. The best way to end his birthday. 

Even the craving under his skin subsided during the match and sex. Sanji can feel it coming back with a vengeance though. His fingers starting to shake beneath the water. It’s been too long since his last hit and he’s out. He knows he doesn't have enough money for the amount he usually gets. Might have to get a smaller one than usual tomorrow. 

Sanji’s musing are interrupted when Zoro presses his lips to Sanji's ear and whispers, “I should run you a hot bubble bath more often, cook.” Zoro chuckles under his breath before adding, “I’ll make it a fairy tale one next time, with a sparkly bath bomb.”

The moss head gets an elbow to the gut for that. “Shit head.” Sanji laughs at the idea. A bubble bath is girly enough, there’s no need to add a sparkly bath bomb to it as well.

A kiss gets placed below Sanji's ear as he leans his head back on Zoro’s right shoulder. “This is going to sound cliche,” Zoro starts, “but I think this is the start of something beautiful between us.”

Sanji laughs out loud sitting forward enough to turn and loop his arms around Zoro’s neck. “It already has, marimo,” he ends the statement with a kiss before positioning himself like before with his back to Zoro’s chest. 

A song comes to Sanji's mind as he skims his quivering fingers under the water, trying not to touch Zoro’s skin as he does so. A song about building a lego house. If Sanji remembers it correctly there is a part where the singer never thought he would settle down. Sanji feels that, but he so feels the next lines, that he never wanted to settle and that the house, relationship, that they have built will be brought down like lego’s do. It’s Sanji's fear. He wants this relationship with Zoro. He wants to keep it and live with it forever, but the addiction, the crack he smokes now once a week, wants to tear it all down. Sanji feels his fingers start to shake even more than before.

 

**_ March 3 _ **

Zoro wakes up alone in his bed, the other half already cold. He listens to the silence of his apartment before removing himself from under the sheets to investigate what's going on. 

This is a first for them. Neither one of them has ever woken up with the other gone before. Sure they might sometime wake up and the bed is empty, but the other person is usually still in the apartment making noise somewhere. They will even go so far as to wake the other before leaving. 

Zoro grabs his phone off the nightstand beside the bed before wandering out the open door of his bedroom into the sitting area. Passing the coffee table and couch he spots a plate of food with a note on top sitting on his small dining table. Picking it up he reads, “Sorry bout the quick leave. Here is breakfast to make up for it, shit head.” The nickname doesn't make a rise out of Zoro when he reads it. 

There is no explanation. No telling Zoro what Sanji had to do. Not even a reason as to why Sanji didn't wake him before he left, and judging by the fact that the food its cold, not warm, cold. It’s been sitting there for a least two hours. Meaning, Zoro glances at the time on his cell, that Sanji made the food and left the apartment around five in the morning. What the hell. 

Zoro wants to call him up, ask what's going on, but he feels like it might be too much. Too much like Killer. Instead Zoro sends a quick text of thanks for the food while removing the plastic wrap from it to put in the microwave. 

Zoro doesn't want to think about the reasoning for why Sanji left at the time that he did. It could be any number of things and all of them distress Zoro to the point that when he is done with breakfast and getting dressed he takes out his bottle of cinnamon whiskey and downs two consecutive shots. They aren't really enough to get him drunk any more, but they at least numb the pain and block the feels that start rising out of his chest.

Ace corners him after his second class in the break room at the dojo. Zoro knows that he knows something is wrong, but Zoro doesn't want to have this conversation with Law in the room. 

Ace doesn't seem to care. “What's wrong?” And he couldn't get more to the point. “It’s something with Sanji.”

Zoro balks at that, leaning away from Ace as much as he can. “What makes you say that?” In the corner of his eye he sees Law turn his attention to them. Great,  _ just _ what Zoro wanted, an audience.

“You came to work with alcohol breath and yesterday was Sanji’s birthday.” Ace takes a step closer. “I put two and two together and came up with four.” The fuck face. Why does Ace have to be so fucking smart. Why can't he be like Luffy sometimes. “Spill.”

Zoro sees no way out of it. He can't even see a way of getting Law to leave now that his attention has been grabbed. 

Law, just like all the others at the dojo, know about Zoro’s problems with alcohol as well as Killer. They all look out for him and when one starts up something they all pitch in to help, even Law. 

Zoro takes a deep breath before he starts on how great the evening was, but how this morning Sanji was just gone. That yes there was a note, but it didn't explain anything. That Zoro’s stupid muscle brain went straight to all the bad stuff like it has been doing for years, since Saga. 

When he finishes Law just looks at him before saying, “I don't really know Blackleg-ya, so I can't really say anything on it, Zoro-ya.” He shrugs before continuing, “But it looks like Ace might know what's going on.” He picks himself up off his chair and walks up to them.

Ace’s expression is both furious and resigned. Like he is pissed about what he is going to say, but knew that it was coming. He even proves that with his words. “Sanji never told you, like I knew he wouldn't and now I'm left to do it.” His eyes go to the floor before coming back up to meet Zoro’s. “He's an addict. Class A drugs.”

Zoro can't move. What? Did he really just hear that?  _ An addict, Sanji? _ But Zoro has never seen any symptoms. Nothing on his skin that tells him Sanji inject anything. Sure he sometimes gets shaky from time to time, but that usually happens when he is worked up or in a hurry. But, does Zoro really know that for sure. 

He hears Ace and Law talking in front of him, but nothing registers. How much does he really know about Sanji?

 

**_ March 3 _ **

When Sanji leaves Zoro’s apartment at half past five in the morning, he can’t help but feel guilty. He didn't leave a reason as to why he left. There is no way that he can. The shakes got to him during the night, waking him up and forcing him to get up and move with the need running through his flesh. It even feels like there are bugs beneath his skin crawling to get out. 

Sanji can't clear his head, he can't get the feeling of need out of his mind. It just keeps circling and circling. Forcing him to step into the cold outside, not physically, but that’s what his mind makes him feel with the need for that euphoria, that escape into the high that lets his thoughts float away. It burrows in him as he walks to the side of town he needs. 

Two years. Two years of the constant want in his bones and flesh. Two years since Gin pressured it into his lungs calling him a chicken when he said he didn't want to try. Two years since he started buying from anyone, in the group Gin was a part of, that was willing to sell to him. A twenty year old starting out with no money to his name didn't make him that popular of a client, but they learned. They learned he always got the money one way or another. That he kept coming back. 

He has become a regular to all of them except Gin, the ass hole. The dick that pressured him into it just so he had someone to sell to so he could rise the ranks. The shithead that got addicted to his own stash and fucked up enough that he was never going to make it beyond what he became when he started. 

Through Gin Sanji met the others, Spandam the leader of the street group, also Buggy, Krieg, and Alvida who also sells out the prostitutes and hookers that find their way to her. 

The one thing that Sanji can say he is thankful for in all of it was that he met Ace through Gin. Ace the firecracker whose boyfriend had a pot problem. Without Ace Sanji might have never learned about the reason behind Gin getting him hooked. He might not have also met Bon, a leader of the higher ups who wants to quit, but has never found the way. They helped him the first two times he tried to quit. They are still helping him. Intervention after intervention and its Sanji's own fault that nothing happens. He can't control the feeling eating away at him when he hasn't had a hit in a while. He can't stop it. He tries. God, he tries, but the cigs only help so much before they become ineffective. The smoke going into his lungs is all wrong. It’s not the same high as the crack that Sanji has learned to smoke over the years. It’s not the same euphoria. 

Sanji's hands tremble as he makes a turn into an alley that he knows someone is always waiting in, and sure enough there's Buggy. In all his ridiculous clowny glory talking to his other two circus freak friends.

“Well, well, look who's here.” Buggy raises his arms up as he sees Sanji walking towards them. “Have you come for a little more?” As his arms lower his eyebrows and lips raise, distorting his make up into the serial killer clown look.  _ Guy’s a freak . _

Sanji pulls out his wallet, extracting what little he has left of his crack money. “Give me the amount this buys.” The money is shaking in Sanji's grip as he extends it. The fuckwads just look at it, not moving to take it or pull anything out for him.

“That’s enough to get you a hit.” The lion guy says. Fuck it if Sanji ever learned these two guys names. He couldn't care less.

Sanji's aggravation rises. He spits out, “I know that, ass hole. Now give me.” He shoves the money at Buggy leaving his now empty hand out for the baggy he will get in return. Sure enough a second later it’s there and Sanji can already feel a tremble of relief in his veins from just having this small amount in his palm. “Thanks, ass holes. See you later.” With that he tucks it into this chest pocket lifting his hand in a wave goodbye as he moves out of the alley. 

Once he knows that they can't see him anymore he take off at a speed walk. He wants people to think he has to be somewhere in a hurry, but doesn't want to run incase the small light weighed bag in his pocket slips out.

As soon as he gets into his apartment he rushes to the bedroom, not worrying about anything else going on around him. His mind only steadily telling him he can take a hit now, he can take a hit.

Sanji gets on his knees beside the bed throwing off his jacket as soon as he’s in his room. Reaching under the frame he pulls out a shoe box. Nothing special, something someone might think he keeps his dirty mags in. They'd be right if they opened it. The magazines hide his paraphernalia beneath them. 

Placing the box on the bedside table closest to him he removes the magazines to the pillow. 

Taking the larger of the glass pipes in hand Sanji pulls the baggy out of his pocket and moves a small amount from it to the round bowl at the top of the pipe. His shaking hands make the task harder than it needs to be, but he eventually does it. He takes the special lighter he keeps in the shoe box out while placing the end furthest from the bowl to his lips. With one hand he flicks the lighter to life lifting it to burn the crack into smoke while the other hold the end letting air in every now and then when he takes a puff. 

At the first full drag of the smoke into his lungs Sanji feels the bugs scatter on his skin, crawling away into their hiding places. His lungs burn at the feel of the smoke seeping into them and sending their high to the rest of his body. 

Whenever he meets another with the same addiction, they always talk about how alert it makes them, how energetic. Sanji has never felt that. Maybe it’s because he is like that all the time anyway that it does the opposite for him. It dulls Sanji. It makes the world echo in his ears like they are bleeding with it. He loses all sense of appetite, only wanting to stare at the clouds and watch the birds fly through the sky. Some people have told him that isn't right, but Sanji prefers having insomnia where he just sits there, instead of having the need to move. He hates it. Sanji hate the euphoria it gives him, but at the same time he needs it and can't stop.

 


	7. Crumbling like Pastries

**_ March 3 _ **

The only thing Zoro can think about for the rest of the day is Sanji. If he’s alright. If he’s high. If he’s doing something else that he hasn't told Zoro about. It’s with a heavy heart and the need to find a liquor store that Zoro decides he has got to go Sanji's place after work to see if he is home and talk to him about what Ace said. 

Unfortunately he gets off work at three in the afternoon and it is eleven in the morning. Zoro’s appetite for lunch has never been lower, even with knowing that what he brought are left overs for one of Sanji's dinners a couple days ago. 

Zoro ends up getting a scolding, not only from the various students in his classes, but form Koshiro as well. Zoro just can't get his head back into teacher mode today. He has seen Ace once since they talked and Ace kept his head down, looking like an ashamed puppy who knows he did something bad but is unwilling to confess to it. 

Zoro can't hold it against him. He really can't. If Ace didn't tell him he could have found out in a worse way. However, Zoro still might have preferred Sanji telling him.

When three finally rolls around Zoro sprints out the door as fast as he can. Not even bothering to ask someone to clean up his room before leaving. Ace will most likely do it since he understand the reason for Zoro’s sudden departure. 

With five wrong turn under his belt by the time Zoro makes it to Sanji's front door he has worked himself up so much that when he sees the door partially cracked open he can't move. He freezes on the spot staring at this small crack that is so insignificant in the large world, but has the potential to crash his small one down on him so hard he might never have felt it coming. 

It’s with fear in his throat making the air hard to get down it that he cautiously pushes the door open to peek his head inside. He sees no Sanji. Zoro knows where Sanji is but he makes himself check everywhere else first. The living room is empty. Zoro drops his sword bag onto the couch before moving through the empty kitchen to peek at the empty porch. He first moves through the apartment to the spare room looking in the open door way to see no one on the workout mats before he moves to the cracked bathroom door. Where again there is no Sanji

All of the rooms are empty and Zoro feels his heart pick up the pace as he checks the last room. Peeking his head past the door to the bedroom he sees Sanji laying on top of the sheets staring up at the ceiling, not paying attention to the world around him. Zoro’s palms start to sweat as Ace’s words come back to him, an addition, drugs. 

The way Sanji is sprawled out could mean the worst. He carefully opens the door not wanting to disturb Sanji anymore than Zoro might have already and cautiously steps inside. It’s only when he has moved to the side of the bed does he see that Sanji has a pipe in one hand and a lighter in the other. 

The air becomes frigid causing Zoro’s breathes to halt in his lungs.  _ No way. This can’t be happening . _ Ace was telling the truth. Zoro tears his eyes away from Sanji’s sprawled body, unable to take in the glazed eyes and slack mouth any longer. They land on the nightstand where a shoe box sits with other pipes, pieces, and baggies of crystals lie inside. 

Heat pools behind Zoro’s eyes, threatening to spill tears down his cheeks if he keeps watching Sanji. A sharp breath flows through his lungs again as he begins backing up into the far corner of the room, between one of the closets and the bathroom door. 

He can’t do this. He can’t watch someone he l-... No, can’t say that. Not yet, not now. Sanji mumbles something in his hazed state, bringing Zoro out of the spiraling down feeling in the pit of his stomach. Instead of mentally breaking down he hits the wall and lowers himself to the floor, pulling his knees up to his chest and laying his arms and head atop them, making sure to keep an eye on Sanji. He sits there watching his unmoving lover. Mind wandering from one helpful thing to say or do to another. One where Zoro surrenders his heart to Sanji hoping that helps, and another where he thinks if only he could just repaint Sanji so this never happens to him. He thinks of rehab centers, and maybe even getting Chopper to help out. Zoro even wonders if he could truly help Sanji or if Sanji even wants the help.

 

* * *

 

The sun is just beginning to set on the horizon when Sanji feels his brain beginning to stir from the euphoria surrounding it. 

His senses come back to him slowly. Touch and sound are the first that really hit him. The feel of the sheets under his left palm and the pipe in the other. The noises of the night life starting up. Cars driving by and people talking. His room seems oddly calm compared to the sounds beyond his bedroom windows. Sight has always been with him, but now he truly sees the cracks in the ceiling and the water stain from that time the apartment above had a leak in their bathroom. 

The last one that comes to him is the one that tells him he’s being watched. As soon as he realizes it his body tenses and he jolts up in the bed turning his gaze in the direction he feels the eyes burrowing into him. 

Zoro sits in the corner on the floor between his closet and the bathroom door. An empty bottle of something sitting beside him as they stare at each other. Sanji feels his heart rate pick up as realization hits him. Zoro saw. Zoro knows. 

The pipe slips from his fingers as he brings his hands up to grip his hair, his breathing coming faster and shallower as he goes on. It’s a panic attack and he knows it. He’s had them before, and just like before he can only manage to pull at his hair instead of calming himself down like he needs. 

He can vaguely hear Zoro talking to him, but nothing registers as he starts getting dizzy. It’s only when Zoro grabs his shoulders and pulls him to his chest that Sanji stops. He stops everything. The hands in his hair fall away. He stops breathing all together before a big breath breaks his lungs and then collapses into sobs before he can stop it. 

Zoro knows.  _ Oh god, Zoro knows _ . Sanji’s going to lose him, he’s going to lose the best thing that has happened to him in years. Sanji doesn't realizes he’s speaking all of his inner thoughts out loud till Zoro presses his nose to his ear and tells Sanji that he isn't going anywhere. That he is staying right here with Sanji. Nothing has been lost. 

Sanji's sobs gain volume after that, calming only when Zoro starts humming and making shushing noises like someone would a child. After that Sanji tells Zoro everything, between sobbing fits. He tells Zoro all about Gin. How he pressured and pushed. When he met Ace and Bon. When he learned Gin forced him for profit only. How he has been doing this for two years and can't stop, no matter how he tries he just can't quit. 

Eventually he passes out in Zoro’s arms, clinging to the man he hopes can help save him.

 

**_ March 7 _ **

After finding Sanji in his apartment and the breakdown that followed shortly after, Zoro realized he couldn't leave the blond like this. Not for awhile. Whether that is a few days, a few weeks, or a month. 

Zoro isn't thinking about leaving permanently, he can't do that. His heart has already invested itself in Sanji and everything that he is. What Zoro means is that he can't leave Sanji in this state. If Sanji wants to quit than Zoro’s going to help to the best of his ability. 

The first thing he did in the morning after the break down was call up Law and see if he could arrange something with the other kendo teachers to take up his classes for at least the next week. Law had no problem with it, but wanted to know if everything was alright in return. Mostly if Zoro was chest deep in booze. All the answer that Zoro could give was ‘no, he wasn't alright, but he was going to be.’ Nothing else seems to be needed to be said before Law gave his goodbye and good luck before hanging up the phone. Really, Zoro couldn't have asked for better friends and coworkers. The group of them stick around for one another till the end, no matter what that tends to be.

After that Zoro spends the next several days by Sanji's side in his apartment. He walks his cook to and from work and then spends the rest of the time sitting on the couch watching a movie with Sanji, or reading a book, or sparing. They never seem to run out of things to do on those first two days.

Its on the third one that things start to change for Sanji. He starts getting nervous about little things. A paranoia that seems to grow as the day goes on. It starts with Zoro being to close, than too clingy, then comes the apology, followed by ridiculous sex that even Zoro has trouble keeping up with. 

Sanji's fingers also start to shake. Just lightly not hindering his work or making him mess up on his daily stuff, but it’s enough that Zoro notices. Sanji has even started to itch at his skin, leaving the area a light pink before taking his hand away and looking down at the place it had been. Zoro can only assume that that is the feeling moving under his skin, asking for another hit. 

It’s the most signs of withdrawal Zoro has ever seen on Sanji. Sure he can sometimes remember seeing Sanji's hands jittering, but there was always something else going on that Zoro could account that for, but now he knows. Now he sees what they mean and sees how much Sanji had been hiding because he was scared. 

They have talked about it since. Even so far as for Zoro to talk about his alcohol abuse and that they will stop together. That they will pull each other back when they start reaching for the addiction. Zoro has been feeling it too, but his doesn't have the same effect on him as Sanji's does. Maybe its because alcohol isn't as addicting, or maybe it’s from the fact that Zoro has barely been drinking since he started dating Sanji. It’s most likely the later, but by the seventh of March Zoro wants a bottle of sake just as bad as he can see Sanji itching for a hit on his pipe. 

The smoking turns into a chain. Lighting the new one on the old one and doing it all over again till half a pack is gone and a trip to the store is needed. 

It’s also more than just his fingers now. Sanji's whole hands are trembling, spilling water when he takes a sip from his glass. Even his cooking has been hindered by the shakes and all Zoro can do is watch and hold Sanji tightly to his chest to try and ease the pain and the itch that Sanji can't stop scratching at across his arms. The skin turning red under the abuse of the nails. 

Sanji doesn't even fix his hair up that day, calling in sick to work since he can barely cook anything for themselves, wearing sweats and looking grungy. He’s beginning to resemble a crackhead that Zoro sometimes sees on the streets. 

It’s that thought that makes Zoro walk to the fridge for a beer, but it’s the same one that stops him. The one that tells him Sanji is fighting his addiction, so fight your own as well. So, Zoro turns around and goes back to whatever he had been doing before that. 

When they finally lay down to sleep, Sanji's skin is starting to get pale and clammy. The red of his scratching standing out more now than it did before. Zoro decides to keep one eye and ear open during the night when he catches Sanji eyeing the floor under the bed.

 

**_ March 8 _ **

Sanji never falls asleep when they get into the bed. The need crawling under his skin feels worse than it has in a long time. He thinks it’s a combination of the withdrawal and the feeling like he is letting Zoro down. It’s so hard to control himself. 

He has been itching, both literally and metaphorically. He wants out of the house. He wants to walk down the street and find a dealer he knows to get what he needs to calm the feelings inside him. It’s starting to drive him insane. The wanting, the needing coursing through his body. From his toes to his shaking hands that couldn't even make scrambled eggs this morning without splashing some out of the bowl and onto the counter.

I can't do this.

Sanji slips himself out from under the covers when he finally thinks Zoro is sleeping. Guilt pools in his stomach and chest pushing the need to a near frantic movement under his skin. 

Zoro has been so good. Has helped so much, and has even helped himself and Sanji’s about to break that. Like he did the last time to Ace and Bon when they tried to help. It just gets too much and he can't stop himself. 

He quietly slips on his sweats, before carefully pulling the shoe box out from under the bed and extracting his smallest pipe from within. 

A quick glance back at Zoro before leaving the bedroom and the apartment makes the guilt rise to a level he didn't realize he could feel.

Sanji walks the streets. The pavements he has memorized lead him to where he needs to go. However this time it trips him, making him stumble, like it’s telling him to turn back. To go back to the bedroom and hold the man he’s beginning to love in his arms. But Sanji can’t. The pull for another hit, the euphoria forces him forward into the streets where he hopes to find a man that will pay him for a small favor of release. 

It’s something Sanji does from time to time when the biweekly amount of crack money he puts away runs out. It doesn't happen often, but when it does he knows he can always find a willing guy wanting a blow job.

It doesn't take long to find one. The guy in question has weights pulling his ears down to his shoulders and hair like that famous white rapper that is named after M&M’s or something. With the crawling feeling pushing him forward, and the guilt trying to pull him back, the blow job isn't the best he has given, but the guy, God as he asked to be called, doesn't complain. He even goes so far as to remove the condom himself when done before giving Sanji the amount they agreed upon. 

Sanji's shaking limbs take him from the secluded alleyway where he did his business and back onto the unsavory street before him, quickly scouting around for a seller that he knows before he passes out from the clawing feeling inside. 

He spots Alvida on the other side of the street with some of her other hookers around her. She doesn't look like she is selling what he needs for the night.  Fuck. Got to look around for another.

Using the walls around him as support he spots Krieg a few blocks down sitting on a crate at the opening of an alleyway. Not the guy Sanji was hoping for, but he will do. Fumbling steps bring Sanji closer, before he holds out the money under Krieg’s nose who didn't even notice his less than obvious walk up.

Sanji doesn't say a word as Krieg takes the bills from him and places a baggy in his palm in return. They have done this enough over the years that Krieg doesn't even need to know what Sanji wants. 

Sanji stumbles his way down the alley Krieg is stationed in front of and attempts to put a small amount of rocks in the bowl of the small pipe he grabbed. He ends up dropping one before another finally gets in. Lighting up he takes a small drag, just enough to relieve the shivers from his body. He waits till they subside and the euphoria starts to make its appearance by sending his mind to a happy place, where Sanji didn't just leave the man he cares for alone in bed. 

His stumbling walk home is with the ideas of a high mind. Ones that make him realize that the city never actually sleeps, someone is always doing something, and when Sanji is like this he can't close his eyes to it when he is outside in the world with them. The world is alive and thriving out here, but that isn't where he wants to be. Sanji wants to sink into his bed with the warm lover he left there.

When he enters his apartment it doesn't hit him that it’s silent till he opens his bedroom door and is met with an empty bed staring back at him. In Sanji's numbness he does nothing but walk to it and sit on the edge. Thoughts of how it’s his fault circle his mind before he takes a long hit to ease the pain in his chest. 

Sanji wants Zoro to come back, to take Sanji with him wherever he has gone, and to watch Sanji as he tries to rise from the person he hates to the one he wishes he could be again.

 


	8. Love to Another Man

**_ March 8 _ **

Zoro is jostled awake by Sanji clumsy slipping from the bed. He isn't even all that quiet while he slips on some clothes, pulls out the box under the bed, and leaves the room with a light sigh at the door before the footsteps fade into the living room and out of the apartment. 

Zoro can't say he wasn't expecting this to happen. He could see it in Sanji's eyes when they were getting into bed that he might not make it any further than this, for now. 

Zoro wants to run after him. To stop him and pull him back into the bed, but there is the fear at the back of his head that tells him Sanji could have stayed. He could have fought it, but he doesn't actually want to with Zoro. That it’s Zoo holding him back. 

The voice repeats itself and repeats itself as Zoro quickly slips on his clothes and makes the decision to follow Sanji. To see where he goes and who he gets it from. Zoro can even stop the deal from going down and drag Sanji back to the apartment. He quickly slips out the apartment and down the stairs to the road checking left first with no sign of the blond and then right where he just sees Sanji disappear around the corner. 

With this heart in his throat Zoro follows after him. He had thought there might be more to this than just Sanji stumbling around on the streets, tripping over the cracks in the pavement, but there really isn't. It’s just Sanji looking around for someone. Zoro doesn't know who and he can't see the expression on Sanji's face to know if he is looking for a dealer or not. 

It’s when Sanji walks up to this shaved blond that Zoro realizes Sanji left his wallet at the apartment. This man most likely isn't a dealer. Zoro watches as Sanji takes the guys hand and pulls him to an alleyway near them. Zoro’s heart stops. 

This is Sanji selling himself for money. This is the extent that Sanji is dependent on his drugs. He is to the point where when he doesn't have the funds on him he makes some. 

With slow nervous steps Zoro moves closer to the alleyway. His brain running in a million direction on how Sanji is throwing their relationship away while he pleases this stranger on a dirty road. But Zoro can't lay all the blame on Sanji's feet. He has also thrown it all way by watching Sanji fall and not doing anything to stop it. 

Zoro freezes at the entrance to the alley, heart in his throat when he hears the noises of the stranger and Sanji's choked and muffled grunts. Those sounds can only mean Sanji is giving the guy head. He was the start, Zoro thought Sanji was honestly the start of something new, something beautiful, but now. Now as he hears his lover pleasing someone else he isn't so sure anymore. 

There is a burning in his lungs that makes him want to strangle this guy for using Sanji the way he does, but Zoro’s limbs don't work. They hold him back and move him away from the entrance when he hears the assholes thanks. 

His mind numbs when he sees Sanji emerge clutching a wad of bills like they are his life line. Not a feeling moves through Zoro as he watches Sanji stumble his way down the road. Not a speck of jealousy hits him when Sanji starts eyeing up a group of hookers on a corner. Even when Sanji can't stand up straight on his own and has to use the walls of the building for support, nothing stirs in Zoro's chest. 

It’s a battle calm he has felt before, but one he wishes to go away. He needs the pain right now. He needs to feel this hurt at watching Sanji fumble up to a man and hand over the money, getting a baggy in return. He needs the guilt and the anger as he follows Sanji to the alley stopping at the entrance to watch as Sanji takes a hit off the pipe he took with him. 

He especially needs it when the asshole of a dealer talks to him, “If you're going to rape him knows the best time.” Zoro ignores it. He ignores everything as he watches Sanji make it home to the empty apartment. 

Then the anger, guilt, and pain comes crashing in. Booze. Zoro needs lots of booze before he gets back to his place.

 

**_ March 12 _ **

Zoro’s mind is numb. The alcohol he has been drinking like water since he followed Sanji to get his high, is working it’s magic in ways Zoro will never not be thankful for. He hurts, physically and mentally, all over. The ache in his chest is a dull throb while the booze flows over it in his veins. 

Yet the pain in his mind, the one that tells him that he isn't strong at all, even through all the hardships he has lived through, this is the one that gets him. 

To tell the truth to himself, Zoro hates everything that didn't kill him in his past right now. None of it made him stronger. None. His friends and Koshiro might beat him up if they knew where his thoughts are. They all worked so hard to bring him back from the brink last year and now here he is again. The weak Zoro. The one who can't do anything right. 

He even pities Sanji and he knows Sanji might hate him for it if he found out, but there’s a pit in his stomach that the booze isn't filling that is saying Zoro will never hold Sanji like he used to. Not without all the pain coming back. It’s not pain from Sanji's actions, in a way Zoro excuses those rather easily, but it’s the pain of knowing he was standing right there as Sanji did it all and did nothing to stop any of it. The pain of his own self guilt and stupidity. 

Zoro pulls one of the only bottles strewn around him that still has some amber liquid at the bottom. He can’t recall how many he has drunk in the past several days. Enough that he can make his own mini tower out of the empties and take out trash that litters the floor, couch, and table of his living space. Zoro’s even pretty sure there are some in all the other rooms as well. Maybe even some dried vomit on his bed. He remembers doing that once yesterday when the need to be drunk for the rest of eternity came over him and he tried to down an entire bottle of whiskey. Not his best moment, but it was what he wanted at the time. 

God, if his friends saw him right now, horizontal on his couch with the TV playing as background so that his head isn't so lonely. He wants to talk to them about all this shit going on, but it scares him. He doesn't want them to see this, he doesn't want to have to rely on their strength again when he should be using his own. He is such a loser.

A knock on the door makes him jolt up on the couch. Placing a hand to his mouth he forces the bile that’s rising in his throat back down as he stumbles and trips to the door.  _ Who the fuck could it be? _ He hasn't ordered any take out yet today. 

Upon opening the door he is met with the faces of his coworkers. Johnny and Yosaku look shocked at Zoro’s state, while Ace and Law seem like they were expecting this. Since they are the ones who know about Sanji and the drugs that’s to be expected, Zoro guesses.

“F’ck off. Do’t wan’ ya here.” His words slur as he gets them out and tries to close the door in their faces. Ace doesn't let him, pushing his whole body up against the edge and a hand to Zoro’s chest to move him back from the entryway a bit.

It’s Johnny’s cry that pulls Zoro's eyes off of Ace and his hostile pose. “Aniki, what happened?” The sunglasses come off from his eyes, that resemble a crying childs. Johnny could always pull the puppy face the best when growing up. It’s one of the reasons he always wears the glasses. They make him more manly, or at least that’s what he says.

Ace pushes forward more using his extra height on Zoro to physically move him back from the doorway and into the living room. “We are barging in whether you like it or not Zoro.”

Fuck them. Fuck all of them. Zoro didn't want this. He will figure it out on his fucking own. “F’ck you all.” The voice behind it is small as Ace takes his shoulders and turns him to face the couch before marching him towards it.

“Ya, ya.” The nonchalance in Ace’s words pisses Zoro off. It’s like this is nothing, like it might even be funny. Zoro know that that isn't true, but the voice in his head doesn't want to stop yelling it at him. “Man this place is a mess. You've been holed up in here for awhile.” Ace’s head swivels on his shoulders looking around at it all before pushing Zoro onto the couch and turning off the television. “Hey, Yosaku.”

Closing the door Yosaku looks up at his name being called. The look on his foster brother’s face hurts. He looks so upset, so disappointed in the way he’s found Zoro. 

Zoro turns his eyes from that face, the accusation. He can’t take it.

“Hmm?” Yosaku answers as he moves through the empties to the couch where Ace has seated beside Zoro and Law on the coffee table before them. Johnny stands by Zoro’s side on the other side of the armrest where Yosaku joins him taking his hand.

“Tidy this place up while we all talk.” It isn't a question. Ace may be terrible at cleaning house, but he does have his standards and this is not it.

Yosaku nods as he answers, pulling on Johnny's hand as he makes his way to the kitchen to get a trash bag. “Sure Ace bro. Johnny help me with it.”

Zoro loves these guys he really does, but this. This intervention it looks like they are going to have, is not something he wants. “F’ck off. I do’t need no help.”

The scoffing noise the comes from Law before him tells Zoro this isn't going to end anytime soon.“Says the drunk man who can't make a proper sentence, ya.” Law’s eyes show Zoro’s reflection in them. He looks like shit. No wonder they all looked scared when the door was opened.

“We haven't heard from you in days, aniki.” Johnny's voice comes from the behind him before moving around to get the empties and take out containers littered around the couch.

“We were worried.” Zoro can't see Yosaku, but based off the voice alone Zoro knows the man is probably close to tears.

But Zoro doesn't want this. He will push them all out if he has too. “Well, you’ve se’n me. Now, f’ck off.” He flicks them the bird before crossing his arms over his chest and breathing through the pain of not only disappointing them, but his own disappointment at himself.

Shaking his head Law says, “Not gonna happen.” 

Ace takes Zoro’s face in hand and roughly yanks it towards him so Zoro can see how serious Ace is about everything that happening at the moment. “Tell us everything.”

Yeah right. “F’ck off.”

Law gives a sigh before pulling out his phone from his pocket. “Shall I call Koshiro?”

“Might have to.” Ace takes the phone from him and unlocks it looking up at Zoro before he presses the button that brings up the number pad.

_ No . _ “F’ck you guys.”  _ Anyone but Koshiro _ _._ Zoro can't do that to him again. He can't be that thing that was living off his dad and unable to do anything for weeks on end because he couldn't bring himself out of his own pity fest.

“So,” Law lifts a brow as he stares Zoro down.

Uncrossing his arms Zoro lets them relax at his sides while trying to think of a place to start. “So, af’er I called ya to take my classes, it got bad.”

“What are you-” Yosaku’s voices chimes in from somewhere in the kitchen behind Zoro, but he doesn't get to finish his sentence before Ace interrupts him.

“You will learn in a bit, Yosaku. Shush.” Ace gestures for Zoro to continue.

He doesn't want to live this again. It was bad enough the first time and now they are making him do it again. But if he doesn't, Koshiro will know. “Wit’dra’ls. Bad ‘uns too.” Zoro’s sure that they understand that. He’s sure that they have both seen withdrawals before. “Snuck out at nig’t to get more crack.” That’s it. Zoro isn't sure he can say anymore. The pain is too much in his chest. God, he wants some more booze to soak in.

“Shit.” Johnny comes up from behind Zoro and kneels down on the other side of the arm rest. “We’re talking about Sanji.”

That’s right, Johnny and Yosaku didn't hear that conversation. “Ya, my blond.” That’s what Johnny calls Yosaku. It’s only fitting he uses the same saying when describing his own to him. “The ‘un that gave a stran’er a b.j. for d’ug money.” He didn't expect to say that. Zoro's eyes dart around for any bottle that might be near him, but Johnny and Yosaku cleared out the place pretty well.

“Aniki!” They both yell as they grab his arm. Zoro doesn't know when Yosaku got there, but both of them have tears running down their cheeks.

“I should have never told you Zoro.” Ace’s voice makes Zoro turn his head to him, cocking it to one side because he doesn't really understand what Ace means. Ace didn't do anything bad, it’s all on Zoro.

“Not ‘our fault, flame boy.” Zoro says as he pats Ace’s arm.

A humorless laugh escapes Ace as he looks down at his hands before saying, “I didn't know he was doing that.” Lifting them up he covers his face and sighs before lowering them again with a set determination in his eyes. “Fuck, I need to talk to his ass too.”

Law sounds almost impassive when he calls out to Zoro, “Zoro-ya.” He’s sitting on the coffee table leaning forward with his elbows on his knees and his hands clasped together. He isn't looking up at anyone as he says, “I want to tell you something.”

“Law if this is gonna be some-” Law cuts Ace off before he can finish his sentence.

“Please don't interrupt, firefist-ya.” Lifting his head he stares at Zoro. There is pain behind his eyes, but one that has been dulled through long years of having to live with it. “I used to be in that group, along with my boyfriend at the time, Kidd.” It’s the first time Zoro has ever heard Law call someone by their name without a -ya at the end. This man must have really meant something to him. “They ended up killing him for reasons I still haven't learned, ya.”

_ Shit. _ That's worse than Zoro’s situation. “Law-” Zoro starts, but doesn't get to finish as Law lifts his hand for silence.

“I’m not done.” He takes a pause before continuing with, “I dealt with the pain and heartache best when kicking the shit out the guys who did it.”

The hard glint in Law’s eyes leaves no room for Zoro to think about what he should do. Sitting here drowning himself in booze hasn't helped any, but maybe if he can fuck up the guys who made Sanji become what he doesn't like, then maybe he can help in a small way. 

Zoro stands up with the grace he usually has when sober and rearing for a fight, to walk into his room and grab one of his katanas. 

He doesn't need two, or even three, for this. Sandai calls out to him for blood as he steps back into the living area with it in hand. Ace, Johnny, and Yosaku have gathered themselves to join in on the hunt.

“I will make sure to point everyone out that I recognize,” Law says as he leads the way out the door of the apartment and down the hall.


	9. Angel will Die

**_ March 12 _ **

Zoro’s bloody knuckles connect with the door under them sending out a hollow sound into the apartment beyond. 

Chopper’s going to be pissed. Zoro just knows it. He’s going to see him and his friends bloodied and cut up and begin to have a panic attack like he always does. 

There’s rustling on the other side of the door before a sleepy mop of curly brown hair pokes out of the gap in the door. “Zoro,” Chopper rubs his eyes before really getting a look at him. Zoro knows he looks back, he has a gash on his side from a knife, and he's sure he his going to have a black eye and some pretty nasty bruising along his left side.

Chopper’s eyes turn into saucers as he takes in the five men before him all battered and beat up. “Ahh, what's happened?” And here's the freak out. “A doctor! You need a doctor!” 

Chopper starts to turn to most likely get his phone, but Zoro grabs his night shirt and yanks him to a stop. “You’re a doctor, stupid.” This kid. 

Genius prodigy at the age of fifteen by getting his medical license, but now at nineteen he is still the kid Zoro first met years ago.

“Oh ya.” Chopper moves form adorable nutcase into super doctor mode within seconds ushering all the men into his apartment before turning on the lights and grabbing his med kit from the bathroom down the hall. “Everyone take a seat.” Zoro hesitates in his movements not want to get blood on Chopper’s furniture again. “Sit, Zoro. I care more about you than the blood on the couch.” With that, all the men take various places of rest in the living room.

Law, being the only one who didn't even get a scratch, stands instead, watching as Chopper helps Zoro remove his shirt Since he has the worst injury, and as Chopper says all the time, the worst ones are treated first. 

As Chopper examines the cut he pokes at it making Zoro wince and Law inch closer. All the other guys are already half asleep from the fighting and not caring about a thing going on around them. 

“You’re going to need a couple stitches.” Chopper gets up to go fetch a small bowl of water to rinse the needle and thread off in before putting them in a cleaning solution, then sticking them painfully into Zoro’s skin. 

Zoro knows Chopper could be doing this without any pain, and going by the way Law’s smirking down at him he thinks the same. 

“What did you do Zoro?” Chopper sighs as he ties off the last stitch and then dousing the wound in alcohol.

“You do really great work.” Law comments as he examines the stitches in Zoro’s side. “You also did his chest and ankles, doctor…,” he leaves the remark open, not knowing Chopper’s name. Zoro never did give it when he said he had a doctor friend close by they could go to.

“Tony. Tony Chopper.” Chopper holds out his small hand for a quick shake before moving over to Ace and the large scratch he has on his cheek. “Yes, I did. You can tell?”

Law hums at that as he follows Chopper. “A doctor can always tell another doctors work, Tony.”

Shit . Law is flirting with him. Already at the first name  and no -ya at the end. Chopper better watch himself. 

It gives Zoro a small reprieve to see it and Ace waking with a jolt at the alcohol being rubbed into the wound on his face.

“I asked a question, Zoro.” Choppers ‘I am serious’ face isn't so much serious and hard looking as it is his ‘super adorable large eyed puppy dog that always gets what it wants’ look. It’s a look that Zoro has tried to counteract before, but has never managed to pull it off. 

It’s too cute to resist. “We may have gotten into a bunch of fights with some gang members.” It’s out quick and easy, like pulling a band aid off.

“WHAT?!” And there goes the response he expected as well as the three men sleeping in the room to jolt back awake looking for the fight they might still be in. 

Chopper pushes Ace, Johnny, and Yosaku back down into their seats before he rounds off on Zoro getting right in his face. “Explain!” Now this isn't a new face, but it  is one that Zoro has only ever seen once before. When Zoro had Chopper stitch up his chest and ankles Chopper made Zoro spill about what happened and then this face appeared. This scared, worried one that doesn't know what to do to help. 

Zoro reaches out his arm to lay it on Chopper’s clenched hand. 

Law takes the seat beside Zoro motioning for Chopper to take a seat on the coffee table he is standing in front of. Only after Chopper has seated himself does Zoro begin. He decides not to mention Sanji, at least not unless Chopper asks, so Zoro starts with the fighting.

He begins with when they left his apartment and made a quick stop at the dojo to get Johnny and Yosaku some bamboo swords. After that they had Law lead them around town. 

For every man he pointed out he gave a small background about them and their name. There was Spandam, the little leader of the dealers that ran the streets. He very rarely made the deals himself, but he was known to go to a loyal customer from time to time if asked. He didn't put up much of a fight. Yosaku knocked him out with one punch to the jaw. 

There was Buggy ‘The Clown’ and his two circus freak followers, Mohji and Cabalji. Law mentioned that they go around town luring kids to them to take to the head boss for extra profit. Ace was the one who smacked Buggy around, yelling at him for being one of the ones who got Marco and him into trouble back in January. Mohji just kinda sat there when Johnny and Yosaku cornered him. It was Cabalji that was the nuisance of that group. The fucker kept doing these stupid little tricks like he was a magician or something, but Zoro did eventually take him out because for all his tricks he had no strength. 

There was Alvida, who admittedly none of the guys really wanted to beat up, so Law took that one on his own. Saying she had taken young kids from parks from time to time to make them basically do slave labor in the brothels till they were old enough to work them instead. 

Then there was Krieg and Gin. Law didn't get to say much else besides their names before Zoro struck out at Gin. The fight lasted pretty long, mostly because Zoro wanted to drag it out. He can't remember who took out Krieg, but he was down when Zoro finished. 

Then as luck would have it, Law pointed out a guy whose name was Kaku, and he just so happened to be the right hand of the right hand of the boss. That ended up being the longest fight of the evening, but in the end they prevailed shouting out their victory till they heard sirens in the distance. 

It was then that they decided to go to Chopper’s for the medical attention that Zoro and the others needed.

The look on Chopper’s face tells Zoro he isn't done talking. Chopper has heard how they got their injuries in a fight, but he hasn't heard why they were even fighting. That is the only part Zoro knows that Chopper wants to hear. 

“We-” Zoro can't do it. He can't admit that he failed in another relationship to Chopper. The one who helped him the most, after Koshiro, to get him back on his feet.

“We did it for black- Sanji-ya.” Law answers for him. He must know how hard it is.

Chopper’s curls bounce as his head tilts to the side. “Sanji, Zoro’s boyfriend?” His chocolate brown eyes look over Zoro's face trying to read what isn't being said.

“He’s a crack addict and-”  Law doesn't get any further before Chopper jumps up from the table and scrabbles around the room shoving the other guys up off their asses before putting on shoes and demanding to be taken to Sanji. 

No one can argue that.

Johnny and Yosaku head in the direction of their own apartment instead of going to Sanji's, while Ace and Law trail along after Zoro and Chopper. The latter making them walk faster and faster every time Ace has to give a correction to the directions Zoro is going in.

When they finally arrive the door is unlocked and cracked again. Chopper and Zoro quickly squeeze through the door and head straight to the bathroom where they can both see and hear Sanji throwing up into the toilet. With one look at him and the smell in the apartment both Zoro and Chopper know that not only is Sanji very high, but he is also incredibly drunk. 

It’s all Zoro’s fault.

Zoro collapses to the floor not feeling the wood sharpy hitting his knees. He fucked up again. How could he be so stupid. He should have been here. He should never have let Sanji walk back to the apartment just to find it empty. So many things he wishes he could change, but at the time his heart hurt too much to stay. It still hurts from what he saw and heard, but that pain is overwhelmed by the guilt of what he has now done. 

Zoro doesn't register Chopper closing the bathroom door or Ace and Law lifting him to his feet and walking him to the couch. 

He fucked up again. Zoro’s mind goes numb once more. His thoughts blanking out as he stares at the ceiling above him. 

Several hours later Chopper comes out of the bedroom and places his hand on Zoro’s shoulder. “He would like to see you.” He squeezes once before moving away towards the guest room. “I’m staying the night.” Chopper’s eyes bore into Zoro’s from across the room. “Be calm with him, Zoro.” And with that Chopper retreats into the room leaving the door halfway open.

Ace and Law say nothing as they pick themselves up and head out the front door to their own places.

Zoro picks himself up from the couch taking the longer way around it heading towards the kitchen, trying to buy as much time as he can before he ends up crying his eyes out. 

He reaches the bedroom door sooner than he wanted, but only hesitates a moment before opening the door and seeing Sanji curled on his side with his head half hanging off the bed and a bucket below him.  _ He looks like crap. _

Sanji picks his head up when Zoro takes a seat on the edge of the bed, careful not to knock the bucket with his feet. 

A hand reaches out and pulls on Zoro’s sleeve before falling to his hand and squeezing it. “You followed me.” It isn't a question, but it’s one statement Zoro wants to deny, but can't so he nods his head. “I’m so sorry, Zoro.” It’s his name. 

The pain around Zors heart starts to slip away with that one word. They rarely ever say each others names, even when they just started dating. “I’m,” Sanji takes a shaky breath before continuing, “I feel like I am here for you, but right now I'm cold and broken.” Sanji's fingers shake a little in Zoro’s palm before tightening their hold. “I… I need you to help make me warm again.” 

That’s it. That’s all Zoro really needed to hear from him. That Sanji wants Zoro’s help. He never really said it before, but now he is. And he’s saying it in a way that tells Zoro he’s sorry, for everything. 

Zoro knows it isn't going to be that easy for Sanji to get back into Zoro’s trust, but this is a start. One that Zoro can make in return, “I will be your safety.” He hopes Sanji gets it, and going by the small smile, he does.

Zoro crawls over Sanji's body to place himself on the other side of the bed. As Sanji drifts off to sleep Zoro thinks to himself that he has Sanji to help mend him and keep him warm, so what he can do in return is the same. 

A story for a story.

 

**_ March 13 _ **

In the morning Sanji wakes to the worst hangover he has ever experienced. He had never mixed the crack with alcohol before and he will never do it again if this is the end result. 

The arms wrapped around him squeeze tighter when Sanji tries to make a not so quiet exit. 

“What you doing cook?” Zoro grumbles while trying to bury his face in Sanji's hair. 

A small chuckle escapes Sanji's lips immediately followed by a wince. “Gotta piss and take something for this shitty headache, marimo. Then I'm making breakfast.” He ends his last statement with a kiss to the forehead before prying the arms off of him and making his way into the bathroom. After he downs the painkillers he head to the kitchen where he sees the young doctor, Chopper, sitting at the bar with a glass of water. 

“Sanji!” His voice is too loud for Sanji's sensitive head making him wince yet again this morning. “Sorry,” Chopper adds, expression honest. “I want to talk to you about rehab options if you are open to it.”

It’s something Sanji has been thinking of for awhile, but at the same time he wants to prove to himself that he can beat this without a hospital’s help. He tells Chopper as much, but still listens to everything the young man says before turning into the kitchen and preparing things for a greasy breakfast.

 

**_ May 20 _ **

As Zoro drives the car Koshiro has lent back to Sanji’s apartment from work, he thinks over the last couple months. He’s basically semi moved in with Sanji for the time being, because it’s easier to watch one another when they are together. 

That’s not to say that Sanji hasn't relapsed. He tries so hard not to, but there are moments where he just can't stop himself from going out and getting his fix. Since the night Chopper helped them out Sanji has relapsed three times. 

It worries Zoro, not that Sanji can't control himself, but that with each one Sanji is taking larger and larger hits. To the point where the next one could be fatal, and then Sanji will just be an angel covered in the white of a funeral sheet. 

Zoro can't think about it.

They have been talking more about things. Mostly they have been talking about how their feelings are growing each day, even after the relapses. 

Zoro still hurts from what he heard and saw that night he followed Sanji, but Sanji has been gaining his trust back a little everyday. Even when he steals money out of Zoro’s wallet for the relapsed moments. At least Zoro knows he isn't selling himself again.

Zoro has also been getting better with his alcohol problem. Sure there are some times where he wants his blood to turn to alcohol in the wake of all the things around him, but he fights. He fights just as Sanji is doing, and he fights for Sanji. The cook is the reason Zoro wants to be better, be healthy, get stronger. 

Yet, Zoro feels a part of his strength comes from his friends and family. People that Sanji doesn't really want knowing too much about what has been going on the past couple months. Zoro can see where the cook is coming from. He doesn't want to let them all down again if they hear Sanji has had a relapse.

Although they all know something is wrong. They can see it in Sanji's appearance. He isn't making his hair a nicely as usually before going to work, if he does go. Zoro has gotten several calls from Zeff about that. He has even been forgetting to pay certain bills. Sanji's phone was cut off when he didn't make the payment three weeks ago. 

His skin looks dry and flaky and he has lost weight. Zoro can feel it when they have sex. The bones of his hips stick out more than usual, the same as his ribs. 

Even the sex has changed. Before there used to be all kinds of kisses and touching. Sanji usually enjoys staring into Zoro's eyes, but now there is none of that. It’s like Sanji isn't even with him when they have sex. It’s like making love to a blow up doll. 

Zoro fears that Sanji is slowly sinking and wasting away into a place where Zoro won't be able to follow and help lift him out of.

Arriving back at Sanji’s apartment Zoro takes his time getting his stuff from the car. His thoughts still swirling about all the recent happenings. He takes the stair two at a time, excited to see what amazing meal the cook as prepared today. 

Upon opening the door the first thing that hits him is that something is wrong. There is no smell of food in the apartment, nor is Sanji in the kitchen preparing before he gets to work. It’s too quiet.

It’s like the other times Sanji relapsed, but this one is a more profound silence than the others were. With the others he could at least hear Sanji mumbling to himself in the other room, but now. Nothing. 

Zoro drops his stuff right there, taking the area between the front door and bedroom in practically two steps. It’s open a crack so he pushes it the rest of the way and is met with Sanji’s prone figure lying on the bed with his face sitting in a drying pile of vomit.  Oh god.

His skin is too pale to have him be alive. Zoro’s heart picks up ten fold as he steps up beside his dying angel. He quickly feels for a pulse and breath. When he feels them he heaves a sigh of relief for however short it is. He needs to get Sanji to the hospital now. 

Zoro’s mind starts buzzing with all the things that could have happened if he ended up being late. Sanji could have choked on his vomit and bile. He could have died slowly in euphoria by an overdose. 

Zoro moves as fast as he can with picking Sanji up and taking him out of the apartment to the car.


	10. White Lips

**_ May 20 _ **

Zoro gets Sanji to the hospital in a time frame he never realized he had the capacity to do. The frantic hoping, that he didn't screw up must have done the trick. 

He pulls up to the ER, leaving the car sitting there idle as he moves to the passenger door lifting Sanji out and then running as fast as he can with the cook in his arm into the building. 

He calls out for Chopper, no other doctor will do. When the nurses try to argue Zoro says that he knows what is going on with the patient, knows his history. That shuts them up well and good as one rushes off to get the young doctor to the ER. 

The nurses still there check Sanji’s pulse and make sure that he is still breathing on his own, remarking to one another that it’s a bit shallow. Chopper shows up and moves the nurses out of the way in order to get to Sanji. He doesn't say a word to Zoro, just shooting him a look that reads loud and clear that Zoro needs to calm down. 

He didn't even realize he had stated pacing until one of the nurses comes up to him and asks him to please leave the room. Zoro can't do that. He just can't. “NO. I need to be here.” He feels like he is yelling. The nurse insists or else she will have to call security. One more brief glance from Chopper has him scurrying out of there and back into the waiting area with all the other people like him, or not sick enough to be in there. 

A guard comes up to him slowly holding out his hands and asking if Zoro can move his car. He doesn't want to. He doesn't think he can. He feels his breaths coming in faster and faster till someone, another nurse, places a paper bag over his mouth and asks him to take deep breaths. He can’t. He can’t do it. He can't lose Sanji. Not now, not ever. 

It takes several minutes before the nurse feels comfortable enough to take the paper bag away. “Better now?” he asks.

Zoro scoffs at the thought, “Not until I know he’s going to be ok.” With that Zoro walks back to his car, closing the passenger door before getting in and finding the first available spot to him. As soon as he's parked he leans his head against the wheel and just breaths. He could really use some booze right about now, but he won't. He will fight it, for Sanji. 

Zoro grabs his phone from the glove compartment before walking back into the waiting room to play some mindless app on his phone to bring his nervous down while he waits for Chopper to come back out. 

It’s several hours later before Chopper makes his appearance beside Zoro. A small smile plays out on his lips as Chopper looks at him. “Sanji is stable now. No need to worry.”

Zoro sags down in his chair, not realizing how much that one sentence made him relax.

“We are going to need to keep him here for a 24 hour observation period, after which he will be sent to a detox center, where he will go through his withdrawal with doctors watching over him. After that it will be up to Sanji.” Chopper takes a breath and leans back in his chair a bit, making his head level with Zoro’s now. “We had to call the cops, and Zeff. You will probably be hearing from both of them later.”

“Great,” Zoro sighs, hoping that Zeff won't yell when he does call, and that the cops showing up are the ones he knows. Maybe he can get Smoker to let Sanji off light or something. 

Chopper goes on, interrupting Zoro’s hesitant thought process. “We will be moving him soon, but you still can't see him for another couple of hours.” Big chocolate eyes turn to him when Chopper says, “Will you be ok, Zoro?”

Lifting his right hand Zoro runs his fingers through Chopper’s locks before making a small sad smile at him. “I will be.” With that Chopper’s called back to work and Zoro’s phone goes off in his lap.  _ It’s Zeff, great . _

Zoro stand up out of his chair and walks out the door to the parking lot as he answers the call. “Zeff.”

“Zoro, I hear my boy’s in the hospital.” He sounds too calm. Either something is wrong with Zeff or he knew. “And I hear it’s for a crack overdose.”

“Yes, sir.” There’s nothing else Zoro can say to that. He can't say it’s his fault, because it really isn't, and that's been something him and Sanji have been working on in the last two months, but there’s nothing else he can say.

Zeff huffs on the other side of the line before saying something Zoro never thought to hear from him, “You take care of my son, ya hear. That’s a problem he’s had for years and I know you can help him break it.”

There isn't an answer coming to Zoro. What can he say to that? Nothing, because the next thing he knows Zeff has hung up on him and his phone is ringing yet again with Smoker’s ID glaring at him.

Zoro doesn't even get a word in before Smoker starts up, “Got a call about your boy. I'm letting him off with it since you took care of the dealers a couple months ago, and don't even say it wasn't you and your dojo buddies. I know your styles. Take care of him.” With that he hangs up. The two shortest and most mind twisting calls he has ever receive happen one after the other in a span of two minutes. When Sanji hears about Zeff’s call he is going to freak out.

Zoro makes his way back into the building still staring dumbly at his phone before taking a seat, pushing what just happened behind him and starting on candy crush again. 

About an hour and a half later a nurse comes out to tell him he can see his friend now. It’s the same nurse that held a paper bag to his mouth earlier. Zoro thanks him as the man shows him the way to Sanji's room.

The blond is sleeping in the bed with tubes and monitors hooked up to him. He looks peaceful sleeping there. Much better than when Zoro found him earlier. 

Zoro takes the chair sitting in the far corner and moves it closer to the bed so he can hold Sanji's hand while he talks to him. Zoro blabbers on about nothing in particular while he fixes Sanji's fringe and removes the wrinkles from the covers. 

It’s when he pauses and realizes he has something more important to say that he takes Sanji's hand between his and presses it to his lips. “I’m going to help you pick up the pieces and rebuild them with you. If things go wrong we can knock it down and try again.” He leans over Sanji's sleeping form to press a soft kiss to his forehead before finishing, “I promise, Sanji.” Zoro sits back in the chair keeping one hand on Sanji’s, while the other pulls out his phone again, because it is going to be a long 24 hours if all Sanji does is sleep.

About an hour later, shortly after Zoro’s phone dies, he feels Sanji's fingers twitch in his. Standing and moving quickly to the door he asks the first nurse he sees to please go get Chopper cause his patient is waking up. 

Zoro steps back into the room and to the chair he had been occupying when Sanji opens his eyes to the white room. When he sees Zoro a smile spreads across his face, but when Chopper enters the room a minute later it turn into a frown. He can't remember what happened.

“Hi Sanji,” Chopper says as he looks over Sanji's vitals really quickly. “You’re looking much better than when Zoro brought you in.” Sanji's brows furrow as he glances at Zoro for a second before directing them back to Chopper. “For that I take it you don't remember. Well you were passed out when Zoro brought you in.” Chopper pauses. 

What for Zoro isn't sure until Sanji takes a sharp inhale through his nose before coughing it back out. “I OD’d, didn't I.” Sanji doesn't even look at Chopper’s face when he nods, he keeps his eyes on Zoro, throwing all the apologies he can muster out of them and into Zoro.

“I’m glad you're ok.” Zoro whispers while squeezing Sanji's fingers again.

“Sanji,” Chopper calls, “I need you to pay attention to the information I'm about to give you. Can you do that?” At the nod Chopper receives he continues. “Because you were brought in on an OD we are forced to send you to a detox center. Now what you do after the week you have there is up to you, however I suggest you go to a rehab clinic. The doctors there will help you deal with any lasting psychological damages the drugs may have caused, as well as any physical ones. That can take you anywhere from 30 days to a year depending on how much you want to end the addiction.” Chopper waits to see if Sanji might have any questions before continuing, but with the nod of Sanji’s head he goes on. “Usually after that you will become a part of the outpatient treatment. Meaning you will go back to your apartment, job, and life but you will have to visit the center for regular treatments. All that sound good to you?”

There’s a silence as Sanji takes it all in before saying, “Yes, that sounds best.”

Chopper pats his other hand when he says that an ambulance will be taking him to the detox center in 20 hours and that he has the time till then to be with Zoro.

 

* * *

 

Sanji loves that Zoro gets to stay with him till he has to be carted off to the detox place. The next week is going to be a living hell and he needs all the time that he can get right now wrapped up in Zoro’s arms and warmth. 

They don't talk much during the time they have, mostly using it to cuddle and trace each others faces or necks. When a nurse comes in to tell Sanji that he has half an hour left before he has to go he knows that he has to say something he’s been meaning to get out for weeks now. “Zoro,” with his eyes closed Zoro hums in reply to his name before Sanji continues, “I need a little bit of time,” that makes those grey eyes open, “to burn this out of my system, but when it’s gone the only thing I want will be you.” It’s one of the sappiest things Sanji has ever told someone, but it makes a warm smile cross Zoro’s lips before pressing them to Sanji's.

As the nurses take Sanji out of his hospital room and down to the ambulance bay he tells Zoro he will see him later, and Zoro replies with the same before the doors to the vehicle close between them.

 

**_ June 6 _ **

Sanji sits in the chair in his small room at the rehab clinic looking out the window onto the small grounds that the place has. 

His last two weeks had been hell. The first one at the detox center was unbearable. He had what felt like the flu, only worse. The shivers, the shakes, his temperature was through the roof, and he couldn't stop scratching his arms. 

The most the doctors at the center did was try to give him pills to help bring his temp down, but Sanji refused. He didn't like the idea of relying on another drug again so soon. Instead he made the docs and nurses bring him ice pack and they forced him to wear long sleeves and soft gloves so that he didn't scratch through his skin. He almost had at one point. 

When his withdrawal symptoms calmed down, they kept him for another 36 hours before he ended up here. 

This place isn't so bad. The doctors are kind, and some of the other patients too. There is a slight residual want for the drug, sometimes it’s worse than others, but at the moment it isn't too bad. 

What he’s really craving though are his cigarettes. The doctors only let him have one a day here, and that’s when he has his time outside, which he has already had today. A sigh escapes his lips as he thinks about it. 

Getting up he moves to the small chest of drawers in his room that he has to hold his clothes and other stuff. Pulling open the top one he reaches into the bag of lollipops that one of the nurses got him to try and help with the need to have something in his mouth. His ‘oral fixation.’ Ya, Sanji doesn't like saying it.  Sounds shitty. But the lollies have helped. He just hopes that it isn't something that he keeps doing after he gets out of here.

After the lollipop is in place and he’s back in his chair by the window, Sanji hears a short knock on the door before being slowly opened. “Hey Chopper.” Sanji doesn't even have to look to know who it is. He comes in the same time everyday to check on him. Chopper seems to be his own personal doctor. An extra one that some of the other patients have complained about.

“How are you today, Sanji?” Same question every day. At least Sanji has different answers every time depending on his moods and how strong the cravings might be.

He turns in his seat to see Chopper seated on the edge of Sanji's small twin bed. “Pretty good today. Not much of a craving, and Dr. Kureha felt like she made a breakthrough with me today.” Sanji didn't understand why she said that this morning. They had been talking about his family, his mom, his dad, Zeff, before going into friends. That’s when he mentioned Zoro for the first time. Thinking on it, that might be the breakthrough she wanted. Zoro is his motivation for getting better quickly after all.

“That's great, Sanji!” Chopper puts his hands together in a clap before walking up to Sanji to give him a hug. “At this rate you will be out of here in no time.”

The largest smile Sanji has had on his lips since March comes out across his face as he returns the hug. God, he hopes so.

 

**_ June 8 _ **

Sanji is finally allowed to have visitors. The clinic has some bullshit rule about the patient needing to be here for a week before they are allowed to have people come visit. 

The visiting hours are also odd, Saturday and Sunday from two to four, and then Wednesday from three to six. At first when Sanji was told those times when he first got here he didn't understand the Wednesday one, but after the first time he understood. It’s the day any kids can come to see their parents. The nurses also seem to make a big deal out of it, setting up a crafts table and everything. 

Since it’s Sunday though there is none of that today. It’s just Sanji sitting in the reception room on one of the couches waiting for Zoro to walk through the door. When he had told them he was going to have someone come in today and that the person had green hair, Sanji could see the way his caretakers looked at him after. Like Sanji's visitor is going to be his dealer or some shit. It’s Kureha that shuts them up in the end.

Minutes later he sees him, the green hair strolling through the corridor behind the reception lady, Mary. Zoro looks great. He looks better than Sanji expected. Hell, Sanji feared Zoro might go off the deep end and drown himself in liquor till the point that he had to be here as well, but that’s not how he looks. His shirt is clean, his jeans even look new, and his skin isn’t flushed with drink or pale from a hangover. 

But it’s Zoro’s smile that has Sanji all wrapped up and not able to get up from the couch. It’s a smile that Sanji reads as being enamored, pleased, and there is love in that twitch of lips as well. Zoro makes his way over to Sanji sitting beside him, his grin getting bigger and bigger the longer they look at each other.

“You look good cook.” A hand comes up to move Sanji's fringe before settling on his cheek.

Sanji scoffs at it, but refuses to move his face away. “I would look better if they let me have more cigarettes instead of lollipops.” There's the smile. The one decided all the way back in December that he was going to bring to Zoro's face all on his own, and he’s done it. Maybe not the best way to have gone about it, almost dying and all, but it’s still there. Still looking at him and not wavering.

“Chopper told me about that.” A low chuckle comes from Zoro’s throat before continuing in a more serious tone, “But really, you look great. Better than you have in months.” A pause as Zoro’s thumb strokes across Sanji’s cheek bone. “I get it now swirly. I see the truth in us and am gonna hold on to you till you kick the crap out of me.” Zoro brings their foreheads together. Nothing more than that. A light press that send Sanji’s heart to his throat.

Those words mean more to Sanji than Zoro might be able to understand. “Silly marimo.” Sanji presses a kiss to the lips sitting before his. “You never really knew me before, but now you can finally see me.” He had kept so much hidden with his addiction. So much that had to get squirreled away because he couldn’t stop himself, but now it will all be out again and Zoro can really meet him for the first time. “I won't let go either.”

They spend the rest of the visitor time sitting on the couch holding each others hands, ignoring the glares they get from others every time they lean into a kiss.

 

**_ June 22 _ **

Zoro makes sure to visit Sanji as often as he can. He notes things about the changes that Sanji is making to himself. His skin as started to flush out again, going from pale to a more creamy milk color. He’s gained back all the weight he lost plus some, with his muscles filling out as well from all the working out he has been doing in his boredom between one session and the next. The jitters all seem to have cest completely, with the exception for a cigarette that Sanji has learned to just stick a lolli in his mouth for. 

The cook’s also started making himself up for the day. Well, as much as he can in pjs, sweats, and hospital gowns. They refuse to let him wear any of the clothes he usually dons. 

Sometimes work gets in the way, but the guys there switch shifts with Zoro if they are able, to let him visit Sanji. They have all gone to see Sanji with Zoro at one point or another as well. Mostly to tell Sanji how moody Zoro has been while the cook has been in the clinic. Sometimes he really hates his coworkers and friends. 

Zoro has even run into Luffy and Zeff at the clinic visiting. Zeff was as gruff as usually, while Luffy had on his serious face. That was a discussion worth remembering. Luffy had them tell him everything, and had him walking off without a word when they were done. 

It was several hours later when a phone call from Smoker came through telling Zoro that his fucking group of friends had decimated the gang that Smoker had been after for years. Zoro went to the station to see them all out and was surprised by the number of them sitting in the cell, there was Ace and Marco, Nami and Vivi, Franky and Robin, Usopp, Brook, Law, and even little Chopper, all banged up but bandaged and looking pleased with themselves. Some of them Zoro had met once, but he knew they were good friends with Sanji. Hell, even the women got involved. 

Zoro gave each a hug as they walked or limped from the cell. Luffy was the last out making sure to tell Zoro during the hug that he’s to never keep stuff from them again. They are a group and they stick together, through thick and thin. 

Later that night Zoro cries about it. He never mentions it to Sanji, deciding it isn't his place. 

Today though when they met up Sanji starts talking about getting out and going home. Dropping the most obvious hints about wanting to live together. 

Zoro can't be any happier than he is at this moment.

 

* * *

 

Sanji watches Zoro cheer up more and more as the weeks go on. His smile grows every time he sees Sanji and Sanji's does the same. 

It hits Sanji on this visit that this happiness he sees is tied to him. To his recovery and well being. He makes a vow as they kiss goodbye that he will always keep that smile on Zoro's face. It’s with that determination that he sees Zoro off with the largest smile of his own.

 

**_ June 29 _ **

This Sunday visit Chopper takes them into a conference room so the three of them can talk. He isn't really specific about what it  _ is _ just that they need to discuss some things. 

Sanji ends up answering the questions on automatic. Things about his relationship with Zoro that they have already discussed on their own. Things they figured out without someone else coaching them, Sanji might add. He’s rather proud of them for that. 

After the time Zoro found him high in his room they have been doing a lot more of it. They have discussed things about how they were before the truth came out. How neither of them were honest and how it torn them both up to keep things from the one they cared for. 

They have talked about what they are planning to do after Sanji gets out of the clinic. Sanji's been hinting for awhile that he wants them to move in together and he knows that Zoro has been understanding them, because his smile always gets just a bit more crooked.

The snapping fingers in Sanji's face pull him back from his zoned state. “Sanji,” Chopper begins, “I have talked to the doctors here and they have told me that with the progress you have made you can start the outpatient program within the next couple days.” The grin stretching Chopper’s features is almost blinding.

Sanji can't help the fist pump he does at that news. “Shit yes.”

Chuckling at the antics Chopper goes on, “However, they want you to either go into a halfway house or to live with another person, such as Zeff or a friend you can trust, so that way you have the support of others around you.  _ Which _ they have noted you work best with.”

Of course they have noted that. Sanji does his best in the group session and is always brighter after friends come to visit. “I'd like to move into the marimo’s place.” He takes Zoro's hand squeezing it gently before turning to face him. “If he’s fine with that.” Sanji wants to settle down with Zoro, and he knows he’s finally in a place that he can do that without fear.

The smile Zoro gives him is enough of an answer.

 

**_ July 2 _ **

In the days after Sanji asked to move in with him, Zoro set to work packing everything Sanji has and taking it to his place. In the process Zoro gets rid of his own couch, coffee table, television, and bed since Sanji has the superior counterparts to them. Everything else he leaves in boxes in both the living room and the bedroom. He plans to let Sanji decide what to do with them when Zoro bring him to  their place later in the day.  Their place . Just thinking it brings a smile to his lips as he walks down to the car to drive to the clinic to get the cook.

 

* * *

 

Sanji waits in the hall with the small duffel of sweats and pj's that he has with him. The nurses have all passed him by giving their congrats for him leaving. Even some of the other patients here have as well. 

It isn't long before Zoro shows up in the car Koshiro lent him a couple months back. They share a brief kiss when Sanji gets to the car before packing it up and heading on their way.

The ride back to their place, holy shit Sanji can say that, is mostly silent. The occasional direction change comes from Sanji when Zoro tries to make a wrong turn, but other than that nothing. 

Zoro seems to be just as lost in his thoughts as Sanji is, and going by the smirk across the marimo’s lips they are just as good thoughts as Sanji's. 

He can't wait for their new life to begin.

 

**_ FIN _ **


End file.
